Life After Jenna
by BensonStabler
Summary: What if everything happened differently that day?  What if Liv shot Jenna?  What if Liv ran without a word?  What if she came back and they had to work together again?  Could he forgive her?  Would things ever be the same again?  AS ALWAYS EO!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Elliot and Kathy are divorced….because that's how I like them. AU in that the situation has been reversed!**

**LIFE AFTER JENNA**

Elliot immediately began CPR on Sister Peg. He continued to look back and forth between her and Olivia who was knelt over Jenna's body, having just shot her. He could see the pain in her face. The horror of what had just happened. He looked down at Sister Peg and realized she was gone. He ran his hand down his face and slowly got up off the floor. The squad room was in utter chaos, people on the phone, running all over the place, and there was Olivia just cradling Jenna's head in her lap.

Cragen went over to Olivia and tried to get her to stand up, but she slapped his hand away and said "Leave me alone. I need to be here when she wakes up. She doesn't have anyone. Her mom is dead. She needs someone to be here for her."

Cragen looked toward Elliot then, as if to say 'I need your help. She isn't going to listen to anyone but you.' Elliot sighed and made his way over to Olivia. He knelt down beside her. "Where the hell is that bus?" she screamed. Elliot put his hands on hers and tried to pry them away from Jenna. She wouldn't budge. "Liv….Liv….look at me." He said. She heard him. As much as she couldn't hear any other sounds around her right now, she could hear him. Elliot. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face.

"We need to get her to the hospital, El. She's lost a lot of blood." She said softly.

"I know, Liv….I know she has. Liv, I need you to look at me and hear what I'm saying to you. Can you do that?" he asked as he was finally able to remove her hands from Jenna and lie Jenna down on the ground.

"Of course, El. What is it?"

"Liv…Jenna is…she's gone Liv." He said very matter of factly.

He didn't want to be tough with her. He knew she was extremely fragile right now, and most likely in shock but he needed her to understand what happened. There was no point in letting her go on thinking the girl was still alive and there was a chance she would wake up.

"Liv, did you hear me? Jenna is gone. She died, honey." He said gently stroking her hair.

Realizing what Elliot was telling her, Olivia began to sob harder. Her head fell to Elliot's shoulder and she became hysterical and hardly even coherent at this point, repeatedly mumbling "What have I done? I killed a child." Elliot's heart broke for her. He knew this would change her forever. He also knew he needed to get her out of there.

"Liv, I need you to stand up. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah…yeah." She said rising to her feet. As soon as she stood, her knees gave out. Luckily, Elliot had his hands wrapped around her, and had been attempting to help her up so he caught her before she fell.

"Elliot, you need to get her out of here. Take her home. I'll get statements from you two tomorrow. IAB is gonna be all over this, but I can hold them off till then." Cragen had said to him.

Elliot looked at Cragen and nodded his head. "Liv, come on. I'm gonna take you home." He'd said as he led them toward the elevator.

When they arrived at Olivia's apartment, he was grateful to see that she was now able to walk under her own accord. She unlocked the door and Elliot followed her in. And that's where they stopped. She stood there frozen. Elliot came up behind her and helped her off with her coat then threw his own on the couch and led Olivia over to it and sat her down. He sat on the coffee table in front of her, their knees touching. She stared at him with her doe eyes and his heart broke in a million pieces looking back at her, knowing the pain she felt inside. He couldn't help her. All he could do was be here for her if she needed him.

"Liv…you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

She waved her hands telling him no without speaking.

"How about a shower? You might feel better. Come on. I'll turn on the water." He said taking her hand leading her towards her bedroom. He leaned in and started the shower. "I'll be out there if you need anything." He motioned He motioned toward the living room. She nodded her head, letting him know she understood.

Elliot went back out to the living room and sat on the couch. The silence was overwhelmingly scary. This was New York City. It was never quiet, but the events of the day just seemed to make time stand still. It was if he was just going through the motions, watching his body from above. Nothing seemed real, and at the same time it all felt too real. He could only imagine how Olivia was feeling.

A shriek from the bathroom startled him out of his wandering thoughts. He ran to the bathroom then past it, screaming her name. He didn't see her in the bedroom but heard the water in the shower still running. He went right to the bathroom and without even thinking about her privacy, opened the door and pulled the shower curtain back. He was stunned by what he saw. Olivia Benson, the strongest woman he had ever met was sitting in the shower sobbing letting the water just fall onto her. She was broken.

He turned off the water and grabbed a towel, helping her to her feet and wrapping the towel around her. She was shaking. He dried her off, concerned that she didn't seem to care that she was naked or that he was helping her. Despite her fear though, he couldn't help staring at his partner's form. She was beautiful, he thought to himself.

After he knew she was dry, he wrapped the towel around her and sat her on the bed. "I'm gonna get you some warm clothes." He said to her as he began to walk away. She grabbed his hand and whispered "Don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you Liv. I'm just getting you some clothes. You're freezing." He said trying to loosen the tight grip she had on his head.

"No, El. Stay here. Please don't leave me." She begged.

"Okay…okay…I won't. I promise" he said softly as he sat next to her on the bed their hands still linked together.

After a long moment, he looked at her and bought their intertwined hands to his mouth and kissed her hand. "It's gonna be okay, Liv. I promise. We'll get through this."

"We?" she asked.

"Yes, we. You're my partner, my best friend. You think I'd let you go through this alone?" he stated.

She bought her free hand up to his face and stroked it. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling of her touch. "I know you wouldn't" she whispered. "You're always there for me." She said continue to stroke his face. He was beginning to feel an erection forming just from her touch. He was embarrassed that at such a time, he could still become aroused. There was no hiding it though. It was there, in all its glory for Olivia to see. She looked down and her eyes went wide and she smirked a bit. As embarrassed as Elliot was, he was happy to see her smile even if it was at his expense. They looked at each other and began to laugh.

Suddenly, Olivia's laughing died out, turning to cries again. Elliot hugged her stroking her back and hair. He whispered in her ear "Let it out. Just let it out."

With her head in the crook of his neck She stammered over and over just as she had at the precinct "I killed her, El. I killed a child. What have I done?"

"Liv, you did what you had to do. You had no choice. She opened fire in the squad room. She killed Sister Peg. She could have killed all of us. You did the right thing. You did what I would have done. It was a good shoot, Liv," he said as he pulled away from the hug to look at her.

He cupped her face in his strong hands then and leaned in brushing her lips with his. He then pulled away, looking at her, as if asking for permission. She closed her eyes, the non-verbal permission given. He leaned in again and kissed her. It was slow and sweet. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled his head closer, wanting more of him. Their tongues fought for dominance for a brief time before Olivia pulled away brining her hand to her lips. "What are we doing?" she asked him.

"Liv…I'm….I'm so sorry…"

"I'm not. That was the most alive I have felt since I pulled the trigger. All I feel is pain right now, El, beyond that I feel numb. I feel nothing, and at the same time I feel everything and everything hurts. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just need to feel something good. I need to feel you."

He leaned in again kissing her harder and more forcefully. He ran his tongue down her neck and whispered in her ear "Are you sure about this? Tell me to stop and I will."

She closed her eyes and threw her head back giving him more access to her neck. She moaned his name and was able to groan out "God no, please don't stop. I need this. I want this….want you. You feel so good. You're the only thing that feels right."

Her words turned him on more and more as he continued his assault on her neck. She moved herself back on the bed and he followed, his lips never leaving her neck. She tugged on his shirt and he took the hint and rid himself of it.

She took in the sight of him. His broad shoulders, his rock hard abs. She was overwhelmed She ran her hands all over his chest, up his neck to his face, seeing him close his eyes and hearing him moan her name, she pulled him down on top of her.

He opened the towel that was the only thing standing between them being flesh to flesh. He immediately bought his hand to her breast, then latched his mouth onto it and sucked it until she let out a groan and a few four-letter words.

He moved from her breast back to her lips, loving the feel of her lips on his, his tongue mixing with hers. He stroked her hair as he continued to kiss her gently and lovingly. As many times as he may have thought about having sex with this partner in a rough and hard way he knew she needed gentle loving right now.

He took two fingers and gentle plunged them into her. He was amazed and completely turned on at how wet she already was. "El, God. So good." He heard her moan. Her moans egged him on as he removed his fingers and replaced them with his rock hard penis. He slid into her agonizingly slow, letting her get used to his size. She was tight around him and he felt like he was in heaven as he began to slowly thrust into her. He slid all the way in and slid almost all the way out on the first strokes, earning a moan of protest every time from Olivia. He then got up on his hands so he could look at her as he continued to pump in and out of her

She opened her eyes and saw him looking at her, smiling as she splayed her hands all over his chest, feeling every inch of him that she could. She then looked down, watching his dick slide in and out of her.

"You like watching that huh?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

"God yes. It's sexy as hell." She managed to grunt between her "Oh God's and his name.

He leaned down again taking her lips in his as he continued pumping, his rhythm becoming more rapid and harder. She bucked her hips up, asking him for more.

With a hitch in her voice, said "El, please I'm so close. Go harder. You feel so good inside me. God you're amazing."

That was all he needed. He did as she asked, futhermore taking his thumb and running it over her clit. That was her undoing. She came hard, shaking as her toes curled. She threw her head back on her pillow. "Jesus, El. That was fucking amazing. You are….you are amazing."

Her words ripped through him, causing him to come. He spilled into her fast and hard. "Fuck, Liv!" he grunted. You are so beautiful….so hot. That was fuckin…"

He had no words. She had no words. They had both just experienced the best sexual moment in their lives and didn't know what to say. Olivia sat up wrapping the towel around her again, prompting Elliot sat up next to her. "You okay?" he asked running his hand through her hair.

"I'm great. That was….that was….I have no words….it was intense Elliot. I needed that so much. I needed to feel anything but hurt and pain. Thank you for that."

"The pleasure was all mine, trust me." He said smiling at her.

She smiled back and dropped her head to his shoulder, feeling him wrap his arm around her as they sat there.

"What'd ya say we get some sleep huh?" he asked nudging her.

"I don't know if I can, El." She responded softly.

"Do you want me to leave? Would it be easier for you to sleep if I weren't here?

She grabbed his hand with a panicked look in her eyes, "No! El, no God please don't leave me. Please don't ever leave me."

He pushed her gently back down onto the bed and kissed her, then felt her grab his face and kissed him back.

"I'm not going anywhere, Liv. I'm here as long as you need me to be. I'll never leave you. Relax and close your eyes. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise" he said as he saw her eyes drift shut. And some time later, even as his own eyes closed, he continued to hold her tight, just as he promised.

Elliot woke the next morning feeling a little confused. He replayed the events from the day before in his mind, trying to decipher what was real and what wasn't. He sighed when he realized the shooting in the squad room was very real. He then remembered that he was lying in Olivia's bed after the most amazing night and a smile washed over his face. With all the horribleness that had occurred the day before, something wonderful came out of it, he thought. He rolled over to greet Olivia with a good morning, however, she wasn't there. He assumed, she was up early making coffee.

He looked around for his pants smiling at the memory of losing them the night before. He put them on and made his way out to the kitchen. She wasn't anywhere to be found. He looked around for a note and found nothing. He went back to bedroom to check his cell phone for any messages from her, there were none.

He saw her closet door opened. He looked inside. His stomach churned when he saw it was empty. He immediately went to the dresser opening all the drawers only to find them empty. Sighing, he ran to the bathroom, he saw her toothbrush missing, her shampoo, everything was gone. She was gone.

**A/N: What ya think?**

**Review here or on twitter Qgirl25**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the positive reviews. To the not so positive reviews…I say you are entitled to your opinion of course, but for the love of all that is holy say who you are. I find all the "negative" reviews are from people who I cannot respond to. If you think it's that horrible…first of all don't read it and secondly don't be a coward. If you are so strong in your beliefs then show yourselves. I'm on twitter and you also only have to make an account on here to review then I can respond by email. One last thing, to the reviewer who was so sarcastic about them having sex after, you obviously know nothing about grief. People have sex for all kinds of reasons….grief is one of them…deal with it….oh and THIS IS FAN FICTION! FICTION: MEANING NOT REAL! With that said, thanks again to all my supporters, you make me want to continue to write!**

_ONE YEAR LATER_

Elliot entered the squad room, moving towards his desk with his usual cup of coffee in hand. He did the standard good mornings with everyone, Fin, Munch, Amanda and Nick, the last ones said with an internal sigh. Even after eight months of Amanda and Nick being there, it was still hard to get used to the newbies. He looked around for Cragen and noticed him in his office talking with someone. He sighed, sitting down at his desk and beginning to catch up on paperwork from the day before, figuring he could catch the older man later

After about thirty minutes, Elliot looked over and seeing that the person was still in Cragen's office, asked Fin and Munch "Who's in there with the Cap?"

"No clue. They were already in there when we came in this morning. Probably some bitch from IAB." Fin replied.

"What the hell did I do now?" Elliot grumbled, shaking his head.

About twenty minutes later, Cragen emerged from his office with his mysterious guest right behind him. Elliot saw her and his heart sank. Olivia. He hadn't seen or spoken to her in a year. He stood there dumbfounded unable to speak as his heart raced. He was sure everyone could seenotice the sweat dripping from his pores.

Fin and Munch immediately jumped up and walked over to Olivia. They hugged her, telling her how great it was to see her and how much they missed her. She was introduced to Amanda and Nick, who she seemed to like, though it was only their first meeting.

Then it was Elliot's turn. All eyes were on him. He couldn't just pretend she wasn't there, although, if he thought he could get away with it, he might try. All he really wanted to do was just leave.

Olivia walked over towards his desk and broke the silence in the room "Hey, El." She said quietly.

"Olivia" he said nodding and acknowledging her presence.

She knew his reception would be cold, but hadn't expected the absolute flat tone in his voice when he said her name.

"Okay, now that we are all reacquainted, here's the deal" Cragen began to explain. "Olivia is back at SVU."

Elliot immediately interjected "We seem to have enough help around here already, Cap" he said motioning towards Fin, Munch, Amanda and Nick.

"There's always plenty of work to do in this unit, Elliot. You know that." The captain replied looking at Olivia and noticing how uncomfortable she seemed at Elliot's last statement.

"Whatever." Elliot mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for Olivia to hear.

"Okay, so as I was saying, assignments are going to stay the same. Munch and Fin, Amanda and Nick you are all still together. Benson will be partnered with Stabler again." Cragen said.

Elliot felt a lump in his throat and a pain in his chest at the captain's words. He couldn't speak for a moment. Then he found his voice "Cap, I've been doing fine on my own now for a year so I don't really think I need a partner right now. I'll just take one of these guys out like I usually do if I need backup."

Now it was Olivia's turn to feel the pain. 'He didn't want her as a partner anymore, hell he probably didn't even want her on the same planet as him', she thought to herself.

Looking between them , the captain made a decision. "Elliot, Olivia! My office..now!" Cragen said authoritatively.

They all walked into Cragen's office and Elliot closed the door behind them.

"Look, you two. I know this is weird for both of you. You know I've always tried not to pry into your personal lives, because, well in the case of you two, ignorance has always been bliss. But with that said, I am the captain of this unit and you two will be working together. You have always been the two best detectives I've ever had and to have you both back here at the same time…..well it's good for the unit. So whatever the hell is going on between you two…work it out!" he said becoming more vocal.

"Cap, look, I understand what you're saying, I really do, but I've been working alone for a year now and I like it that way. Like I said if I need any back up, I'll take ding or dong out there with me." He said motioning again toward Amanda and Nick.

Olivia couldn't help but smile, knowing that Elliot didn't exactly love the two new detectives.

"Elliot, I'm sorry, did you not hear a damn word I just said to you?" Cragen said sarcastically. "You two are partners again. Deal with it! Now go to the cribs or an interrogation room or someplace, and talk this out, so we can get some damn work done around here!" he said loudly motioning toward the door for them to leave.

As they walked out of Cragen's office, all eyes were on them. They both felt like some kind of freak show.

"What?" Elliot yelled throwing his hands up.

"El, can we just talk someplace private," Olivia asked.

"I really don't know what there is to talk about Olivia. You heard the captain. We're partners again. Okay, fine I'll deal with it."

"El, just gimmie ten minutes, please?" She was practically begging at this point.

Elliot sighed. "Fine, upstairs," he said motioning for her to lead the way.

They entered the cribs and Elliot closed the door behind them as Olivia looked around, as if she were seeing the room for the very first time. As if she hadn't spent endless nights in there, restless nights worrying about a case. It was all so foreign to her and yet all too familiar at the same time. It was like coming home.

"Olivia" Elliot said flatly. "I've got a ton of work to do. What'd ya wanna talk about?"

"Wow, I mean I knew you probably wouldn't greet me with open arms but I guess I didn't expect this much coldness from you El."

Elliot couldn't help but laugh. It was a completely sarcastic laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "Seriously, Olivia? You expected something else from me? I haven't seen or heard from you in a year!" he began shouting. "The last time I saw you, I was in your bed after making love to you. After the most intense night of my life, I wake up the next morning and you're gone. You're just fuckin gone. No note, no phone call no anything!"

Elliot thought he had come to terms with her leaving. It had been a year and he was moving on with his life, but seeing her again, confronting her, just made him realize he hadn't move on at all. The hurt was still as fresh as the morning he woke up in her apartment a year ago.

"Elliot, if you'd just let me explain…" she started but was immediately cut off by him.

"Olivia, the truth is I don't wanna hear it. It doesn't matter anymore. You left and I moved on. You did what you do best Olivia….you ran." He knew those words would hurt her, but he just wanted her to feel a little bit of what he felt that day and for months after, and was obviously still feeling.

"That's not fair Elliot!" she screamed.

Laughing he said "Really? Not fair? What's not fair, Olivia? Calling you a runner? You ran after Gitano too. And then you ran to Oregon. It's what you do. It's who you are. You can't help it. Things get too close for you, you bail. Whatever! I should have been used to it, but stupidly I thought that night was different."

"It was different, El" she said softly. "And all those times, Gitano, Oregon and even this time I eventually came back. I always came back to you. For you."

"Fuck Olivia! Are you saying I should be glad you walked back into the squad room after no contact for a year? I gave you all of me that night, everything I had. I loved you like I have never loved anyone or anything in my life. Shit, I loved you for twelve damn years Olivia! But that night, that night was different. All your defenses were down, all the walls you always put up were down. You were just you. You were at your most vulnerable, and you gave yourself to me. You wanted me."

"El, I know all of this. You will never know how much I appreciated what you did for me that night…." He cut her off again.

"Appreciated? Wow! So you appreciated that I fucked the grief out of you Olivia? Why didn't you just leave some money for me on the dresser before you left!" he screamed, the vein in his neck throbbing.

"Fuck you!" she yelled as she raised her hand to slap him. He was always too quick for her though and he grabbed her hand. "Don't even think about it," he said, leaning so close to her that he knew she could feel his hot breath on her neck. They were almost nose to nose. If she leaned in just a bit, their lips would be touching. He was so incredibly angry and hurt but being this close to her again, did something to him. Something he didn't expect or want. He dropped her arm and pulled back.

"El, I'm sorry. That didn't come out right. Appreciated was not the right word."

"Olivia, save it." He said putting his hands up. "I don't want hear anymore. I don't care why you left, I don't care why you're back. I don't care that you're my partner again. I got over it a long time ago. I got over you a long time ago. In fact, it wasn't as hard to get over you as I thought it'd be." He said lying through his teeth.

She wished he would have just taken a knife to her chest instead of hearing those words. They cut deeply. She understood he was hurt and angry and had every right to be but he had never been so cruel to her before. And yet, she knew Elliot was the poster child for your typical Alpha male and to show weakness of any kind was unacceptable. She could see despite his words that he was hurting, and knowing that she was the one who had done that to him broke her heart.

It didn't matter what she could see though, he didn't trust her anymore, and who could blame him? She did run. He did give her everything that night and made what happened that day just a little more bearable and she'd basically taken it and thrown it in his face by leaving like a coward. She just wanted a chance to explain what was going through her head. Why she left, why she hadn't called, but he wasn't ready to hear it. She needed to accept that and give him space, if she was going to salvage anything they'd ever had.

"Are we done here? I've got a ton of paperwork on my desk" he asked.

"I guess that's up to you, El. You don't seem to want to listen to me or let me explain so it's your call. Are we done here?"

He looked her straight in the eyes. Those dark eyes he had stared into so many times for so many years and this time, felt nothing but pain and hurt as he did so. "Yeah, we're done," he answered as he walked to the door and opened it.

"El," she called out before he walked out of the room. "I've loved you for twelve years too, and never more so than that last night."

He didn't turn around after hearing her admission. He just sighed and continued to walk out the door, slamming it behind him.

The slamming of the door cut through her soul. She broke down right there, sinking to the ground, covering her face in her hands and sobbing

On the other side of the door, Elliot could hear her sobs. They sent a shiver up and down his spine. It took everything he had in him not to walk back in there and comfort her. He couldn't do it though. He hated that she was crying, but he hated what she had turned him into even more, an angry bastard that would make a woman cry. He walked down the stairs and sat down at his desk.

About thirty minutes later, Olivia came down the stairs. She had washed her face and had redone her makeup. She looked like a new person and Elliot couldn't help but notice that she was still damn beautiful. He sighed looking up at her.

Olivia saw that Elliot was staring at her, but she couldn't read the expression on his face, she couldn't read him at all anymore. There was a time when she could just look at him and know what he was thinking and it hurt her that that time seemed to have passed. She sat down at her desk, as Elliot handed her paperwork to get her up to speed.

A moment later, Cragen came out of his office. "Okay, we got a vic" he said. "Pulled out of the East River, raped, beaten and shot."

"We got it covered Captain" Nick said motioning to Amanda.

"Sit down Amaro. Olivia, Elliot this one is yours." Cragen said looking at his detectives.

Elliot stood up and said "Maybe we should give it to Rollins and Amaro, it sounds pretty gruesome. It is Olivia's first day back. She might not be able to handle it."

Olivia glared at him. She knew he was angry. She knew he was hurt, but now he was questioning her ability as a police officer. She stood up, looked straight at Elliot and said with conviction in her voice, "I can do my job!" before she walked over to Cragen and took the paper with the information out of his hand. She grabbed her coat and yelled back at Elliot "You comin, Stabler?" Elliot sighed, got out of his chair, grabbed his coat and followed her out.

"She's baaaaaaaack." Munch said trying to lighten the mood. Everyone just looked at him, rolled their eyes and went back to work.

When Olivia and Elliot arrived at the crime scene, Warner immediately walked toward them and hugged Olivia. "Great to see you back Olivia. You were missed around here."

"Not by everyone." She mumbled under her breath knowing Elliot was close enough to hear her.

"Melinda, what'd we got" Elliot asked, ignoring his partner and kneeling down next to the body.

"She was raped and beaten badly. Then shot in the stomach." Warner explained.

"The bullet kill her or the beating" Olivia asked.

"It looks to me like it was the beating, but I'll know more when I open her up." Warner responded.

The medical examiner then pulled back the sheet that had been laid over the victim and Olivia gasped. When Elliot looked down at the girl he immediately knew what she was gasping at. The girl. She could have passed for Jenna Fox's twin sister.

"I almost forgot, this was stuffed in her mouth" Warner said as she handed a piece of paper, which was already in an evidence bag, to Elliot. Olivia moved closer so she could read it as well.

_I'll see you soon_ was all it said.

**A/N: Who was the letter for? The case gets to Olivia and Elliot softens a bit towards her.**

**As always, thanks for reading and review please! Here or on twitter Qgirl25 Thanks guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I can't help but feel sorry for poor El! On the show they made him out to be an ass for leaving without saying goodbye to Liv and now my reviews are calling him an ass for going at Liv! LOL….I appreciate all the feedback, even if ya'll hate my El for the time being. Trying to capture his pain at loving this woman so intensely and then her being gone for a year. Anyway, thanks again for the support! Mooooving on….**

"_See you soon_?" Olivia repeated, staring at the message left in the girl's mouth. "What the hell does that mean? Who's the message for? Us? Warner? CSU techs?" she asked looking at Elliot.

"No idea," he replied. "I mean how would anyone know we caught this case?" he questioned.

"Melinda," Elliot looked up at the medical examiner,"We'll be back at the station, call us when you know something.

As Olivia and Elliot walked away from the crime scene and back to the car, he turned to her. "You okay?" he questioned.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Olivia the fact that that girl looks an awful lot like Jenna Fox was not lost on either of us, come on," he stated. "I saw your face, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he explained.

"Wow! Thanks El for caring. An hour ago you basically called me a whore and wondered why I didn't leave you money after you….wait how did you put it? Oh yeah, fucked the grief out of me, those were your words right?"

"Olivia, I was just asking if you were okay. You wanna start slinging mud? Here? Now? Fuck! Sorry for asking. Let's just go back to the station and start working this case," he said as he got into the car slamming the door shut making Olivia jump.

She sighed. She knew he was asking out of legitimate concern for her, and yet it seemed she couldn't just accept that. She had to throw his words back in his face.

She got into the car, put her seat belt on and turned to Elliot. He avoided her gaze, looking straight ahead and beginning to start the car. She put her hand on his to stop him from doing so, but he quickly pulled his hand away. She was hurt by his obvious repulsion of her touch.

"Elliot, I'm sorry. What I said was was totally uncalled for. I know you were asking out of concern and I appreciate it. I honestly do."

"Whatever Olivia. It's fine. Don't worry about it," he said, actually starting the car this time and heading back to the station.

When they walked back into the squad, Cragen was right there "How'd it go you two?"

"Jennifer Decker, 18 year old, raped, beaten then shot. Warner isn't sure if the beating killed her or the gunshot. She'll call us when she knows more," Elliot reported.

"Looks to us like the crime scene is where the body was found. There were massive amounts of blood. Unfortunately, it was in the back woods off the main road. There wasn't much around to canvass. Perp could have driven her out there, done the rape, the beating and shot her right there. I don't think anyone would have heard anything," Olivia added.

"Okay," Cragen said, turning to Munch Fin. "You two go canvass the area around where she was found. See if you can find any sign of life out there," Cragen ordered.

"You two," pointing to Olivia and Elliot, "Put what you've got up on the board and start working it."

In minutes, Elliot and Olivia had put all the information they had gathered onto the board and now were just staring at it, thinking about their next move. The fact that Olivia could not take her eyes off the picture of Jennifer was not lost on Elliot.

"It's just a really weird coincidence, Olivia," he said to her.

"Yeah….yeah I know….but it's really odd. My first case back and I catch a case with a girl who looks like the girl I killed a year ago," she said.

Before Elliot could reply, the phone started ringing, breaking the tension between the two of them.

"Stabler," he answered. "Where? Okay, we'll be right there," he said hanging up the phone. "We've got another vic," he told Olivia.

"Same MO?" she asked.

"Yeah, eighteen, raped, beaten and shot," he said. "Difference is this one is alive for now. It looks bad, but we might get to talk to her," he explained.

Grabbing her coat she quickly headed for the door. "Let's go!" she shouted back at Elliot.

They arrived at the hospital quickly, heading directly to the ER.

"Elizabeth Durning?"Elliot said to the nurse showing her his badge.

"You'll have to wait for the doctor. He should be out any minute," she told them.

They walked to the waiting area and sat down. The silent awkwardness between them was deafening.

"So, where ya been for the past year anyway?" Elliot asked.

"Excuse me?" Olivia questioned.

"Sorry," Elliot said standing up to walk away.

"No, El. I'm sorry. I did it again. You asked a simple question and I got defensive. I'm just surprised that you care, you made it real clear before that you didn't."

"Olivia look, I said a lot of things earlier. Some I meant some I didn't. I was hurt and angry, two things you know I don't handle very well."

"Glad to know some things haven't changed," she said smiling. "The answer to your question is all over the place."

"Huh?" Elliot asked.

"You asked where I've been. I was all over the place. Spent most of the last year in New Jersey, Long Beach Island to be exact," she whispered softly.

"Why there?" he questioned.

"So I could feel…."

She was cut off by the doctor coming out of the exam room. "Hey Detectives," he said.

They stood up and Elliot asked, "How is she doc?"

"She's touch and go. It doesn't look too good right now. The bullet hit a major artery. We did surgery so it's just wait and see right now. She's semi-conscious if you want to talk to her, but please don't overdo it. She's weak," Dr. Beresford replied.

They nodded at his words and started to make their way toward her room to question her when Dr. Beresford asked Elliot to wait a minute.

"I'll meet you in there," Olivia said, continuing toward the room

Putting a pair of gloves on, Dr. Beresford removed a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, then handed Elliot a pair of gloves. "This was shoved down her throat. No one has seen it but me and no one touched it," he said handing it over.

"Good job not contaminating evidence Doc. You want a job at NYPD?" he asked, as he un-crumpled the paper. _Elliot how does it feel to have the beautiful Detective Benson back by your side? See you both soon._

Elliot could feel his heart pounding. He immediately grabbed an evidence bag from his pocket and put the paper in it. "Thanks Doc," he said, as he made his way toward Elizabeth's room.

"Hey," Elliot whispered to Olivia as he walked into the room.

She quickly pointed him in the direction of the hallway and understanding her signal, Elliot walked with her outside the room to talk.. "She's sleeping again. He did a real number on her," Olivia said.

"Did she tell you anything?" he questioned.

"Just that he wore a mask, she never saw his face. That's all I could get out of her," she replied.

Holding up the evidence bag, Elliot said, "This was apparently shoved down her throat."

Olivia took the bag from Elliot and read it. He saw her face go white. "What the hell is this?" she asked. "Who the fuck is this guy?" she questioned looking back at the battered body of their latest victim.

"I don't know, but it's pretty obvious he's got a hard on for you," Elliot replied. "Come on, let's get back to the house and work the pattern," he said leading her out of the hospital.

When they got to the sedan, Olivia watched as Elliot opened the car door for, surprising her with the gesture. Was he actually being nice? She had no idea. He was probably showing her pity because now some asshole seemed to be killing young girls and possibly coming after her. Either way, she felt it was progress with him. She would take anything at this point.

They arrived back at the station and put Elizabeth Durning's information up on the board next to Jennifer Decker's. There was no visible pattern. Jennifer was a brunette who looked like Jenna; however, Elizabeth was a blonde who looked nothing like her. The notes _See you Soon_ and _Elliot how does it feel to have the beautiful Detective Benson back by your side? See you both soon _unnerved them.. It was becoming evident that the rapes and killings were not going to stop anytime soon. They needed to find this guy before another young girl ended up dead.

Elliot looked over at Munch, who was back at his desk from the field, and asked, "Did you get anything from the canvass on the first victim?"

"We got nothing. There was nothing for miles. We found a gas station. No one there saw anything," he explained.

"Shit!" said Elliot.

He looked around and didn't see Olivia. An immediate panic came over him. She had just been beside him..

"Munch, you see Olivia leave?" he asked worriedly.

"I think I saw her go upstairs."

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief and against his better judgment, went upstairs. He slowly opened the door to the cribs, seeing she was standing in the room alone with her back to him. He approached her slowly, not wanting to scare her.

"Olivia," he whispered.

She swung around immediately at his voice and he saw tears in her eyes. His heart broke just as it had that morning. He wanted nothing more than to reach for her and comfort her, but his pride wouldn't let him.

"You okay?" was all he could manager to muster up at this point.

"No," she said softly. "I'm not okay. Maybe this was a mistake. Coming back here. Two dead girls and some psychopath who seems to want me to suffer. If I had just stayed away maybe those girls would still be alive. I'm tired of being responsible for the deaths of children."

"Liv….this isn't your fault….it's…it's the fault of this bastard whoever he is," he said trying his best to comfort her.

"What did you just say?" she asked.

"I said this isn't your fault," he replied.

"No, not that. You called me Liv," she said with a slight smile on her face.

"I always call you Liv," he said looking at her confused.

"Not since I've been back. You've been so proper with me, you've called me Olivia every time we've spoken," she explained.

"Okay….I'm sorry…Olivia this isn't your fault," he replied.

"El, no hearing you call me Liv, feeling like my old self for even a second was exactly what I needed. Thank you for that," she said leaving the room.

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An hour later, the phone in the squad room rang. Munch answered it and began writing down information feverishly. When he hung up, he had a somber look on his face.

"Munch? You okay?" Elliot asked.

"We've got another victim. Natalie Foster, raped beaten and shot. Dumped in an alley on West 56th street. Fin and Amaro were on a stakeout nearby so they're at the scene right now, said they'd be back in about an hour."

"Is the vic dead?" Olivia questioned.

"Yeah, Liv. She is," Munch replied.

Olivia sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"There's something else guys," Munch reported. "There was a note crumpled up in her throat."

"Fuck!" Elliot said. "What'd it say?"

Munch began to read from the notes he had taken. It said, "_Olivia you look beautiful tonight. Red really is your color. See you soon_."

Olivia looked down and realized she was wearing a red shirt. She gasped.

"Son of a bitch can see her," Elliot spat.

"I need some air," Olivia said as she got up to leave the squad room.

"Elliot go after her. If this guy is watching her, she can't be alone," Munch said.

Sighing, Elliot knew Munch was right. As angry and hurt as he was right now, he would die before he'd let anyone hurt her. He grabbed his coat and ran after her, catching up to her just as the elevator doors were about to close.

"What are you doing, El?" she asked.

"Going with you. I've always had your back and I still do. You are my partner, after all," he said giving her a slight smile.

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink, take your mind off the case for a little while," he said to her.

They arrived at the bar down the street that they would often frequent after a long, hard case. Elliot ordered two beers and met Olivia at the booth in the back of the bar. He slid into his seat. The awkward silence between the two of them was slowly killing them both.

They discussed the case, but after a while Olivia was sick of talking shop. She had had a few beers and was a little tipsy. Elliot thought it best to get her out of there. "Come on, Liv. I'll take you home. I think you've had enough," he said.

He walked her to her door and made sure she made it inside her apartment safely. As he walked into the apartment, he was flooded with memories of the last time he was there. He tried to focus on the present, but always seemed to be pulled back to the past. To her.

He didn't want to take any chances, knowing this guy has been watching her at the station. He searched around her apartment to make sure it was safe. He had no idea if he possibly knew where she lived and could have followed them back to her place. The more he thought about it, the more he thought it might be a good idea if he stayed with her.

"Liv, I'm staying the night," he said firmly.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Look, we don't know if this guy knows where you live. He could have followed us back here for all we know. Just accept it, cause I'm staying," he told her.

"Okay," she said going to the closet to get him a blanket and pillow.

She went right up to him to personally deliever the blanket and pillow, although she could have just left if on the couch. The closer she moved, the more he backed up until he found himself up against the wall. Olivia was so close to him that she could feel his breath on her neck, and he could feel everything about her. She took her hands and bought them to his waist, playing with his belt loops. He was turned on, she knew it. "El," he whispered into his ear.

Feeling his erection building, he said, "Liv what are you doing?"

"What we both want," she stated looking down at the now growing bulge in his pants.

"Liv, don't do this, please," he begged.

"El, don't deny you want me. I can see it. I can feel it," she said softly.

"Olivia, you think because you can still turn me on sexually that everything is okay between us?" he questioned.

"No, of course not but it's a start," she replied.

"Olivia, you're beautiful. I've always known that and yeah I could slam you up against this wall right now and fuck the hell out of you but it wouldn't mean anything other than just that," he said knowing his words would hurt her.

"Wow!" she said backing away.

"Liv, I'm not trying to hurt you but I'm not gonna screw you for the sake of having sex. You're better than that. We were better than that. I'm not demeaning what you meant to me for twelve years or that night we were together a year ago. I'm sorry," he whispered.

"El," she said.

He looked her in the eyes. He saw the pain in her them, the want, the need. He knew that look because he knew he had the same one on his face. He wanted her. He did. He just couldn't let go of the hurt.

"Yeah, Liv?"

"Think it could ever be more than screwing for the sake of sex again between us?" she questioned.

Running his hand down his face he replied, "I don't know, Liv. I honestly don't know. So much has happened. So much has been said. I'm honestly not sure anything will ever be the same between us again. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just being honest."

A lone tear fell from her eye, "I know," she said softly. "I screwed this all up. I walked away from the best man I've ever known. The best thing I ever had. I left a man who showed me more love in one night than anyone ever showed me in my life. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I'm sorry, El," she said.

He felt his stomach turn as she spoke. Why couldn't he just get past what happened? He wondered. She was obviously hurting and he hated to see her hurt. She hadn't deliberately tried to hurt him, he'd always known that in his heart. He just couldn't forget the loneliness and hurt he'd felt that morning he'd woken up. As he recalled the lone tear he'd seen fall down Olivia's face, a matching tear escaped from one of his own eyes.

**A/N: Who is this dude? What's his issue with Olivia? Will Elliot give in to his feelings for Olivia? If he does, will it be just sex or something more? **

**Review here or on twitter! Thanks guys Qgirl25**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I love reviews!**

Olivia woke the next morning with a killer headache. She sat up pressing her fingers to her head praying to God that last night was a bad dream. Did she really throw herself at Elliot? Did he really reject her? Shit! She thought to herself, as she got out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. On her way there, she saw Elliot sleeping on her couch. It was then that it hit her, nothing that had happened last night was a dream. She was mortified.

She went into the kitchen and stumbled around looking for anything to rid herself of the intense headache she felt. Every once in a while as she searched she would glance over at the sleeping Elliot and sigh. Why did she ever walk away from him she wondered? He was the most amazing man she had ever known, how could she run from him? She saw him start to stir and her heart sank. She knew she had to now face the inevitable morning after conversation; and sadly there hadn't been any sex though.

He awoke more fully and his eyes fluttered open. "Morning," he said looking to Olivia.

"Morning," she whispered still feeling humiliated her actions the night before.

Elliot got off the couch, folding the blanket and picking up the pillow to put it back in the closet. Olivia was once again overwhelmed looking at him. He was in nothing but his boxer shorts. She still couldn't believe the way she threw herself at him. God, he probably thought she was a freak now.

"You….you want something to eat or something?" she asked him.

"Nah, thanks. I'm good. Gotta get to the station. You want a ride?" he asked her.

"Sure, lemme just get ready. Can you wait for me?"

"Yeah, no problem," he replied.

"You can shower here if you need to," she offered.

"I'm good. We're kinda late, I'll grab one when we get there," he said.

Olivia sighed walking into her room.

Elliot stayed out in the living room and went over everything that happened last night in his head for the hundredth time. God, she was beautiful, he thought. He wanted her, she was right. He wanted her and she knew it. He couldn't just sleep with her though. Too much had happened. It would have been so simple to just have sex with her and call it a day, but that wasn't who he was and Olivia wasn't some fling or one night stand.

They arrived at the station to Cragen hollering "We have another vic!"

Olivia sighed and immediately asked, "Was there another note?"

"Yes," Cragen responded.

"Shit," Olivia and Elliot said in unison.

"What's it say?" Elliot asked.

Cragen walked toward them handing them the evidence bag with the note in it. They both looked at it and Elliot swore he could feel Olivia go weak in the knees. _Elliot are you and Olivia back to banging each other again? See you soon._

"Jesus Christ," Olivia said. "Who the fuck is this guy? Then looking at Munch, she asked, Who's the latest victim?"

"Name is Nancy Franklin, 18, blonde. Raped, beaten and shot just like the others. Died on the way to the hospital," he recited

"Make that two more victims," Fin said as he hung up the phone.

"Allyson Peters 18, red head. raped, beaten and shot to death and yeah, there was a note before anyone asks. It said _Elliot and Olivia….You're dead!" _Fin said.

Olivia slowly sat down at her desk, visibly shaken by the fact that there were two more victims and that her life was just threatened.

Elliot paced back and forth, becoming more visibility pissed off.

"Okay, well this makes my decision easier," Cragen began. "You two," he said pointing at Elliot and Olivia are going to a safe house until we catch this guy."

"Captain! No!" Olivia yelled. "I'm not running from this asshole. I'm gonna catch him and put his ass in jail."

"Cap, a safe house? Come on we're cops," Elliot chimed in.

"This is not up for debate. This is an order from the Chief of D's and now an order from me. I need you two safe. We'll get this guy and you'll come back," Cragen tried to explain to them.

"This is bullshit. This is our case, we deserve the right to catch the bastard," Elliot said.

"Both of you, pack your shit. Munch and Fin are driving you. There's a snow storm coming tonight so you need to get moving. Only the five of us will know where you are. I have burn phones for both of you in case of an emergency. Leave your other phones here. End of discussion," Cragen said turning red.

Olivia just sighed knowing there was no way out of this. Cragen had his orders and that was that. Now she just needed to figure out how she was going to stay in a safe house with Elliot without losing her mind.

She got up and gathered her things. As she walked out the door she looked back at her coworkers and said "I'll be ready in a hour, pick me up."

Elliot got up, yelled a few obscenities at Cragen and made his way to the door to go home and pack as well.

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About an hour later, Munch, Fin and Elliot drove up to Olivia's apartment. She was standing outside with her suitcase ready to go. Fin got out of the car and put the suitcase in the trunk while Olivia slipped into the backseat next to Elliot. There was awkward silence already.

The snow was starting to come down pretty hard and Olivia wasn't sure how far they should drive in it.

"How far we going?" Olivia asked.

"Bout an hour, I think," Fin responded.

Olivia sat back and sighed. She listened to Elliot on the phone with his kids telling them he'd be unreachable for a while. She could hear the hurt in his voice and she gave him a look, silently telling him she was sorry and understood. He responded with a weak smile.

The safe house sat up on a winding road back in the woods away from anything civilized. It was quite nice considering. Upon parking the car, Munch and Fin helped Olivia and Elliot with their things and then informed them that there would be uniformed officers down at the end of the hill.

"Don't worry guys. We'll get this asshole and get you back home," Fin told them as he walked out the door.

"So, this is cozy," Olivia said sarcastically .

Rubbing his hands down his face, Elliot replied, "Yeah, cozy."

"You wanna watch TV or something?" Elliot asked.

"Sure, if you do," Olivia replied, but let's take off our service weapons first, no reason to wear them in the safe house.

Elliot agreed and they both took their guns out of the holsters and put them on the table, then looked at each other. They knew what the other was thinking, that they should be out looking for this guy instead of being stuck there.

They walked to the couch and Elliot took and seat, but Olivia stopped short of joining him. "Look, El who knows how long we're gonna be here. I think we need to clear the air or I'm gonna go nuts," Olivia blurted out.

"Liv, I don't know if I can get into this right now. It's been a long day, I'm tired, I'm pissed," Elliot replied.

"Well, I'm really sorry about that but I don't much care right now. I've been trying to talk to you since I got back. You haven't given me a chance to explain anything. I threw myself at you last night and we acted like it never happened. So you don't have to talk but I am and you are going to listen to me," she said sternly.

Elliot couldn't help but let out a slight smirk at her take charge attitude. He sat back and sighed.

"Okay, Liv. You're right. I owe you the chance to explain," he said.

"What did you just say? Did Elliot Stabler just say I was right?" she asked sarcastically.

"HA HA, don't get smart," he said jokingly.

They both began to laugh. For a few minutes it felt like old times. When Olivia stopped laughing though, an overwhelming sense of sadness came over her. Elliot noticed it and felt bad, wondering if he had caused the sudden shift in her mood.

"Liv you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah….yeah fine…I just…I don't know where to start. This is so hard for me. All I really want is for you to understand why I did what I did. I need you to understand it was never about hurting you. If I never have you back the way I did, it's my own fault I know this. I can even learn to live with it. What I can't live with is you not forgiving me. I need that from you," she said as the tears started flowing.

Elliot got off the couch moving toward her, as she was standing near the television. He put his hands on her shoulders, moved them up to either side of her head and began stroking her hair. "It's okay, Liv," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

She hugged him back and felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over her. But there was a problem. Yes, just being in his arms again, felt so right, but it also hurt like hell at the same time. He was hugging her, yes, but was it out of pity? He and moved towards her, as she was standing just beside the couch. He made it clear forgiveness was not anywhere in the near future.

She pulled away and said, "I can't do this. I changed my mind."

"What? Liv, what'd I do now?" he questioned.

"You didn't do anything, El. It's me. It's you touching me, holding me. I can't do this. I need to leave. I can't be this close to you with the way things are between us. This is killing me. I hurt. I physically ache for you, Elliot."

He stopped her words when he crashed his lips to hers. She didn't fight it. She devoured it. Elliot's lips on hers again. That's all she'd thought about for the past year. She wanted him so much. Her hands were all over his back, his torso, underneath his shirt as she felt his touch on her neck, her breasts, anything he could get his hands or lips on. Suddenly, she was overwhelmed and pulled away.

They both gasped for air and stared at each other.

"Why'd you pull away?" he asked.

"Why did you kiss me?" she countered.

"I don't know. I wanted to, I guess," he responded.

"You made it pretty clear last night that sex for the sake of sex wasn't gonna happen between us, so what was that. Have you suddenly forgiven me, Elliot?"

Sighing and running his hand down his face he looked at her and said, "No, I haven't. I'm trying Liv. I really am but it's not that easy."

She put her hand up to stop him from speaking. "I understand, El. I really do, and I'll be perfectly honest with you, I want you. I want you so bad you have no idea. I didn't want to stop, but I thought about what you said last night and you were right. Sex for the sake of sex isn't gonna work for me either. You mean too much to me. We mean too much to me. If we are ever together again, it will be because you can look me in the eye and tell me you still love me. I've settled all my life, I won't settle when it comes to you, Elliot. I can't."

He turned toward the window watching the snow fall. He could see her reflection in the window and knew she was only a few feet behind him. "Tell me Liv. Tell me why you left. I wanna know. I'm ready to listen," he said turning around to face her.

She walked toward the couch, sat down and began to explain to him what happened that night when she woke up. She explained that she'd looked over at him sleeping in her bed and cried tears of joy, but that they'd quickly turned to tears of utter sadness. She'd remembered the entire Jenna incident from only hours earlier and became overwhelmed. She'd wanted to reach out for him and let him help her through it, but she couldn't. She'd felt ashamed. She'd felt broken. She'd felt as if she were not worthy of his love. The only thing she'd thought to do was run. She'd wanted to save him from the pathetic person she'd felt she was at that moment.

She explained that after a few weeks, she'd picked up the phone to call him but couldn't speak. She'd heard his voice and it all came rushing back like a tidal wave and after that, the longer she'd stayed away the harder it became to come back. She'd missed him. She'd wanted to talk to him. She'd just wanted to hear his voice. But she'd be unable to bring herself to return

Elliot began to tear up listening to her explain what she had felt. He felt so selfish for making this about her leaving him. She shot a child. How could he ever pretend to know how she must have felt. Who was he to judge her decision?. She did what she had to do to get through it. He understood all that in his head now and yet, his heart was still broken. He understood her need to get away from NY, from the situation, what he felt he could never understand was her need to get away from him.

"Liv," he said softly. "You said that you felt that you were doing what was best for me , but why didn't you let me decide what was best for myself? Why did you run from me? Did I do something wrong that night?"

"God no Elliot! You got me through that night. If it weren't for you, I don't know what I would have done. Being with you, making love to you, Elliot I can't even begin to explain how you made me feel. I have never felt that close to anyone in my life. I've never let my guard down that much with anyone. It scared the hell out of me and like you said earlier, I did what I do best, I ran. But please don't ever think I ran because you did something wrong, I ran because you did everything right," she explained.

**A/N: Short but sweet! Coming soon…snowed in….sexual tension….will they give in? And who is after them? Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

A week had passed since Elliot and Olivia had arrived at the safe house. Elliot had started to soften towards her a bit since their talk that first night they arrived, but he continued to have his guard up. Olivia tried everything to break down the wall he had built, but to no avail. She thought about giving up.

In terms of their confinement, they had been in touch with Cragen and there were no breaks in the case, which just made everything feel even worse.

Noticing Olivia's increasing cabin-fever, Elliot asked her if she wanted to go outside for a walk. It had snowed again the night before and the newly fallen snow was beautiful on the trees. He knew she needed to get out of the house for a bit, but wasn't quite sure she'd want to go with him. He was pleasantly surprised when she jumped at the offer but he figured she would have loved to go outside with anyone at this point, just needing to get out of the house.

She came downstairs wearing snow boots, gloves, a hat, scarf and the biggest coat Elliot had ever seen. He couldn't help but smirk a bit at how adorable he thought she looked. Elliot himself had on gloves, a hat, boots and a coat to protect him from the cold.

"Let's go," Elliot said walking toward the back door.

When they got outside, Olivia took a moment to just look around. She was amazed at the beauty of it all. She wasn't used to seeing this kind of beauty living in New York City. She could get used to this, she thought to herself.

Brushing away her musings ,she turned to find Elliot on the ground and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Snow angel. I'm making a snow angel. Don't tell me you've never done this before?" he asked moving his arms and legs in the snow.

"Ummm, no can't say I have," she replied.

Elliot got up out of the snow and pointed to the angel he had just made. "See?" he said. "A snow angel. Your turn," he said as he pushed her down into the snow.

Olivia, feeling a bit out of her element, decided to just go with it. She moved her arms and legs up and down for a long moment before getting up out of the snow and going over to Elliot to look down at her angel along with him.

"Wow, that's a masterpiece," she said.

Elliot laughed. "Not bad for your first time," he replied.

"This playing in the snow thing is kinda fun. What's next?" Olivia asked eagerly.

"Snowman. You wanna build a snowman?" Elliot asked.

"Absolutely!" she responded.

They proceeded to gather the bottom of the snowman, every once in a while just lying in the snow out of breath as they worked.

The sun was shining brightly that day, and Olivia couldn't help but think she didn't really give a shit what was going on back home with the case. She felt guilty, knowing Munch and Fin would be working feverishly on it to catch their stalker., and yet, some part of her really wouldn't mind if they never found the guy who was threatening her and Elliot. If they did, that would mean going back to real life and she wasn't ready for that. She was having an amazing time, something she hadn't experienced in quite a while and Elliot was actually starting to soften a bit toward her. She felt like she was making some progress with him, however, she knew from years of experience how stubborn he was and that he would not make this easy on her. And as much as it hurt her, she knew she deserved it, she'd hurt him. She understood that.

Noticing Olivia was lost in thought, Elliot decided to lighten the mood a bit. He gathered up some of the newly fallen snow around him and made it into what he thought was the best snowball ever. He called her name, laughing as he did so and when she turned, he threw it at her. Olivia didn't seem amused at first, but Elliot could see a slight smirk forming on her face. He decided to play along.

Olivia pretended to be extremely pissed off all the while forming her own awesome snowball behind her back. She watched as Elliot got up and started to walk toward her and when he got closer, Olivia revealed the snowball and a coy smirk. Elliot tried to duck, but was unsuccessful. The snowball hit him right in the face and Olivia was unable to contain her laughter. It was apparently contagious, as Elliot began to laugh along with her.

"You think that's funny huh?" Elliot said continuing to chuckle.

Nodding her head, she said, "Yeah, yeah I do."

She saw the mischievous look in his eyen then and immediately got up off the ground. She knew he was going to try to playfully tackle her in retaliation. She took off, trying to avoid capture, but she was still laughing and that kept her from being able to keep her balance as he gave chase.

It didn't take much effort for him to catch her. He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She pretended to struggle, all the while feeling shivers run up and down her spine at the contact . She wanted to play along though; she didn't want to be too obvious about how she was feeling. Focusing on the game, she was soon able to break free from his hand, but let him catch her again. This time, however, she lost her footing and they both stumbled into the snow. Elliot landed on top of her and soon, they were both laughing hysterically again. As the laughter began to quiet, the moment became awkward. They both just stared into the other's eyes, wanting to say so much but neither one able to speak their mind.

Elliot lowered his head into the crook of her neck and sighed.

He felt his body reacting to hers and he didn't want her to know, but at the same time he didn't want to remove himself from the situation.

"Liv," he said as he lowered his head back to the crook of her neck.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his hat off so she could play with his hair as she tried to move his head closer to hers. He fought it, to no avail, finally, just letting her bring his head closer to her own as her lips grazed over his.

"El," she whispered. "Don't fight this, please."

Heeding her words, he returned the kiss, crashing his lips to hers. The kiss, was slow, passionate and blew her away.

He pulled away after a moment and stared at her, looking into her eyes. He saw everything in them. The past thirteen years, the day Jenna was shot, the night they were together and then he closed his own eyes, as a lone tear fell down his face. He felt Olivia wipe it away and kiss the spot where the tear had previously been. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again, his heart keenly aware of the pure love coming from her. He knew she loved him. He had never doubted that, he just couldn't get past the hurt and pain he'd experienced over the past year. And with that thought, the reality of the situation returned and he quickly pulled himself off of her and stood up. He held out his hand to help her up.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing…I'm fine…it's just cold out here. Let's get back inside. I'll make a fire." He replied.

Olivia sighed knowing the real reason he stopped. It was her. As much as he may be in love with her, as much as he wanted her, he just couldn't get past her leaving. He couldn't forgive her, she thought to herself.

She followed him back into the house, both of them silent.

"I'm gonna get out of these wet clothes," she said to him as she walked into her bedroom closing the door.

Elliot went to the fireplace and as promised, began to start a fire. He had a chill running through him that he knew was caused by more than the weather outside.

Olivia emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with her hair in a messy ponytail. Most would say she looked a mess. Elliot thought she was beautiful.

She knelt down next to him and helped with the fire, the glow from it falling on her face, and Elliot couldn't help but notice how incredible she looked. He felt he should remove himself from the situation but he was mesmerized by her.

Olivia broke the spell only slightly as she motioned to him, "You should probably take that stuff off before you catch a cold."

"Yeah, you're probably right," he replied still staring at her.

She grabbed the hem of his shirt and said, "Here, let me help you."

He placed his hands gently on hers, never breaking eye contact. "Liv," was all he could manage to say.

"It's okay, Elliot…..It's okay," she said as she pulled his shirt up over his body feeling his torso and broad shoulders on the way up. She threw the shirt and ran her hands back down his chest splaying her fingers all over him. He closed his eyes while she felt every part of his chest. He was so turned on, he wanted to explode.

Olivia got down on her knees and moved closer to him, now hovering over him. She took her hands and cupped his face then leaned in and kissed him. He immediately responded, taking his hands and grabbing her head, then removing the hair tie from her hair and tangling his fingers in the soft strands. He then felt her tongue searched for his, and he made it easy to find.

He searched for the hem of her shirt and she bought her hands to his and helped him pulling her shirt over her head. He gently ran his hands up and down her shoulders, to her abdomen and down, where he played with the hem of her pants. She closed her eyes and let out a moan as his hands wandered up her torso to her breasts, where his fingers were hindered by her bra, he could feel though, even through the fabric that her nipples were rock hard, and he loved the fact that he could elicit such a reaction from her. His hands found each breast and he massaged them through the material of the bra, before she reached behind herself, unhooking it and letting it fall, exposing herself fully to him.

They were both on their knees now making good use of their hands, exploring each other's bodies. Hands then turned to lips as Elliot's mouth went to Olivia's breast and her hands flew to the back of his neck encouraging him to give her more. She closed her eyes and her head fell onto his shoulder for a moment before she began to kiss his neck, down his collar bone, to his chest. She heard him moan from deep in his throat and felt his hands moved to the back of her head, encouraging her to kiss him more. She did so, all the while moving her hands lower and lower until they reached the hem of his pants. She looked up at him, not sure if she should attempt to remove them. He smiled at her. That was all the reassurance she needed. As she slowly unzipped his pants, he made quick work of hers and in no time they were both almost fully exposed to each other. Olivia in her just her panties and Elliot in only his boxers.

He leaned in slowly and kissed her again. It was urgent, but not rough as his hands once again roamed her checks, her hair, and her breasts, anything he could get his hands on.

She found herself once more exploring his body as well. . His broad shoulders, his forearms, she ran her fingers up and down them loving how strong he felt against her.

"El, please," she whispered.

He stopped for a moment and it scared her. She didn't want to stop. She wanted him so badly right now, she physically ached for him.

"Liv," he said bowing his head. "Liv, I can't promise you anything past this moment right here."

"I know," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him again.

He wanted her so much right now his head was spinning. The things she could do to him, surprised even him. After all that had happened, he still had a physical ache to be with her, to be close to her, to be inside her.

He lowered them onto the rug in front of the fireplace, never breaking eye contact with her. He wanted her to know, that this wasn't just sex for him, although he couldn't quite define what it was.

He ran his hands down her arm to her hip and down her leg. He then moved his hand to her core. He could feel the heat coming from her. He knew she was ready. He grazed his hand over her core and felt the fact that she was dripping wet. "Jesus, Liv," he managed to moan.

He guided his erect member to her and slid it in gently. It was agonizingly slow, which turned her on even more.

Elliot heard a noise come from her he hadn't heard before. "You okay?" he asked, concerned he may have hurt her.

"Mmmmmm…fine….yes...I'm fine…God, Elliot," she whispered.

He began to slowly move in and out of her, almost removing himself completely then sliding back into her. She knew she was close already and she didn't want this to end, not this soon. She adjusted her breathing, trying to calm herself down.

"Jesus, Liv. You are so tight. You feel so fuckin good. I've missed you," he whispered into her ear.

"God, I missed you too. You have no idea," she replied.

He continued to take her places she didn't think existed. She arched her back and grabbed onto his neck, wanting more contact and he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her arched back up flush against him, while he held them up with one arm. He was pushing in and out of her at an alarming rate and she knew he was close. She prayed he would hang on. She dreaded the moment that this would end; afraid it might not happen again.

"El, don't….don't stop…please," she begged.

"I'm trying, Liv…but Jesus...feels so good," he said.

She knew what he meant. She couldn't hold out much longer either against the sensations she was feeling. Her toes began to curl and she threw her head back as her orgasm hit her harder than anything she'd ever felt before.

Watching her was Elliot's undoing. He spilled inside her with fervor, moaning her name over and over again. He laid on top of her, careful not to put his full weight on her. He looked down at her and kissed her.

"I love you, Olivia. I've always loved you, please know that," he said as he rolled off of her.

She felt an immediate loss when he wasn't inside her anymore along with a sense of unease. She grabbed a blanket she saw on the sofa and covered herself. "I love you too, Elliot," she replied.

"I know," he told her, gently stroking her cheek.

He leaned back against the sofa that was in front of the fireplace and sighed.

Olivia felt the sigh was a sign of regret or disappointment and a tear began to roll down her cheek, a tear which didn't go unnoticed by Elliot.

"Liv? Why are you crying? Jesus, did I hurt you?" he asked concerned.

Wiping the tear from her cheek, she responded, "God, no Elliot. That was…that was the most amazing experience of my life. You could never hurt me. You are too gentle and too good a man."

"Why are you crying then?" he asked confused.

"I don't know. Overwhelmed, I guess. What just happened was surreal. It was intense, and it scared me," she explained.

"I never meant to scare you, Liv. That's the last thing I would ever do."

"You don't scare me, Elliot. The overwhelmingly intense way I feel about you is what scares me, and even more than that, the thought that, even though you say that you love me, you don't feel it to the same depth I do anymore scares me more."

"Liv….I….I don't know what to say….I don't know what you want me to say….I told you I couldn't promise you anything."

"I know, you did Elliot. I know," she said getting up making her way toward the bedroom.

**A/N: Damn guys I got tears writing this! Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks so much for the awesome reviews. From the ones I got I accomplished what I wanted to. I never want to make someone cry, but knowing that words I put down on paper can move people to tears is the ultimate compliment. Thank you so much.**

Elliot watched as Olivia moved toward the bedroom. He wanted to say something but words escaped him at the moment. The enormity of what had just happened only a few feet away was just now hitting him. He still loved her. He knew this. He didn't lie to when he told her that. He just can't get past the betrayal he feels. He knew it was his stupid pride, and he also knew it was keeping him from the one thing that made him truly happy. Olivia.

He sighed and walked into the kitchen deciding to cook dinner for them. Opening the fridge, he realized one of the uniforms needed to make a grocery run, as they were running low on food. He was able to find some spaghetti and that was about it. Dinner was almost done as Elliot heard Olivia coming out of the bedroom.

"Hey," he said as she approached the kitchen.

"Hey," she replied. "Smells good."

"Thanks. Not much to choose from here but I tried," he said brining them both a plate of the spaghetti and placing it on the table.

They ate in silence. It was the most awkward meal either had ever had. Elliot wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Olivia started to speak numerous times, but stopped herself. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Occasionally, Olivia would glance over to the fireplace, remember what had happened there only hours ago and look away.

Olivia rose from the table after about fifteen minutes, taking her still half full plate with her. She threw the uneaten food into the garbage and washed the plate.

"Didn't like it?" Elliot asked.

"No. No, it was great I'm just not that hungry," she replied.

Moving the food around on his plate Elliot said, "Yeah me neither." He got up from the table and repeated Olivia's movements.

Olivia poured herself a tall glass of wine and made her way over the couch, sitting down and putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"You okay?" Elliot asked her.

"Oh yeah, I'm fucking outstanding, El," she replied sarcastically.

"Liv," he began.

"Elliot, don't worry about it. I'll be fine. I always am," she replied, sipping her wine at what Elliot thought was an alarming rate.

"Liv, do you wanna talk about it?" he asked cautiously.

"What's there to talk about? We had sex. We fucked. It was amazing and then it was done." She said with a clear attitude in her voice.

"Olivia, it wasn't like that and you know it."

"I know it? Really? How do you figure?" she asked.

"Because you know damn well I would never just have sex with you! Or fuck you! And I seriously resent the fact that that's how you see what happened," Elliot said raising his voice.

"Right," she replied the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Olivia, I told you I couldn't promise you anything past that moment. You were okay with that, at least you said you were. What the hell happened?"

"I know you're right Elliot. I heard what you told me and I wanted you so badly, I needed you so much that I accepted what you told me. Then….then we….shit….and it was so intense and so amazing that I just got caught up in it all. I realized it went way beyond sex for me, but then saw it didn't for you," she explained.

"Olivia, I swear to you it was more than just sex for me too. You're right it was intense and amazing," he said moving closer to her.

"If that's true, Elliot then why did you pull away after?" she asked their foreheads almost touching.

Elliot ran his hands down his unshaven face and sighed. "I don't know," was all he could say.

Olivia pushed him away from her, stood up and turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm, turning her back around to face him. "Don't walk away, Liv."

"I'm not walking away this time, Elliot. You are." She stated. "I get that I hurt you. I get that I betrayed you and everything we had for twelve years. I truly get that, but I have apologized a million times and tried to explain to you why I did what I did. I'm done explaining Elliot. Either forgive me or don't forgive me, but if you can't forgive me then you need to let me go. I mean let me go entirely. No more partnership, no more anything. I can't do this with you anymore."

"Liv, please," he begged.

"Elliot, I can't. It hurts too much to be like this with you. I could have stayed your partner before. Even after, our fist argument, It felt like old times working the case, but what happened here tonight changed everything. I can't be near you. I'm in love with you, and this hurts way too much. You need to understand that," she whispered.

"Liv, I do understand hurt. I understand the hurt I felt when I woke up that morning and you were gone. Do you wanna hear about that? Huh? You make such a big deal out of what you've been through, how about me?" he asked.

Moving closer to him again, Olivia ran her hand down his cheek softened for a moment by the pain in his voice. He closed his eyes at the contact. They both knew that any contact between them made the other react and in this moment, she was especially grateful for that knowledge. "I do want to hear it Elliot. I do want to know what you went through."

Elliot motioned for her to sit down on the couch and he sat beside her.

Once they settled, he began to explain that when he'd woken up that morning, he'd first believed she was out in the kitchen making coffee or perhaps had gone out to get some coffee. It wasn't until he saw the empty closets and drawers that he'd known she left. He told her of the empty feeling he had in his stomach, the aching pain in his heart.

He explained that he'd spent every free minute of his time searching for her. He went on to tell her that after about five months, he'd realized she didn't want to be found and he'd stopped looking. Everyone once in a while, he would search the internet for some information, but slowly he began to realize his attempts were futile. He told her that was what hurt the most. He understood her leaving the force, the city but not him.

Tears began to form in her eyes as she listened to Elliot explain what he went through. At that moment, she realized how much Elliot really did love her. She knew he had that night so many months ago, she'd felt it the way he made love to her, but hearing his words made it real for her. She continued to question herself as to why she hadn't contacted him. She knew he would have understood. Why had she felt such a need to run from him?

Elliot continued to explain that even now, after the five months had passed, he'd still just been going through the motions of his everyday life. He drove everyone at the precinct crazy and prayed every night his phone would ring and she would be on the other end.

Olivia moved closer to him on the couch. He didn't pull away. She brought her hand to his cheek and stroked it. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He took her hand and held it in his. "I know you are," he whispered back.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Liv. I honestly don't. You know I'm not good with feelings and all that, but I'm still hurt and that's not easy for me to admit. That doesn't mean though that I'm not completely in love with you."

"But…." Olivia began.

"No but I'm in love with you. That's the truth and there's no but there," he explained.

"Elliot, there is a but. You can't forgive me. You can't get past the fact that I walked out on you, and until you can, we can't move forward. You can love me more than life itself, but if you can't forgive me, we have nothing, " she said walking toward the fireplace.

The fire was beginning to go out and Olivia was rubbing her hands together trying to get warm, as she felt a chill run up and down her spine.

"You cold?" Elliot asked.

"A little," she replied.

"I'll make a fire," he said, moving to stand beside her and igniting the log in fronting of them

As the fire began to roar, Olivia sat in front of it trying to get warm as Elliot bought a blanket out from his bedroom and wrapped it around her.

"Thanks," Olivia said.

"Welcome," he replied.

Elliot sat down next to her and they both stared into the fire , each of them remembering what had happened there, and secretly wishing it would happen again.

As much as Olivia believed herself when she told Elliot that unless he could forgive her they had nothing, she knew damn well that she wanted him. She knew he wanted her too, she just also wanted him to forgive her more than anything. She would settle for never being with him again, if he could just find a way to forgive her.

After awhile, Elliot got up and walked over to the window to look at the snow they had played in earlier in the day and when he left her immediate vicinity, she instantly felt the loss. She knew what she needed to do. She got up and walked over to him, deciding that at this point she had nothing to lose. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

A shiver ran down her spine when, after a moment, he still hadn't pulled away and he seemed to be enjoying the contact, she leaned her forehead on his back, and was aware of him taking her hands in his as he sighed. When Elliot still hadn't spoken a word after several moments, Olivia took it to mean she'd crossed and line and unhooked her arms from his waist, beginning to walk away

. Never turning around, Elliot whispered, "Don't go."

Turning around again to face his back once more, Olivia said, "Elliot, what do you want from me? I mean really want from me? You pull me close, you push me away. It hurts. I need to know what you want," Olivia said with a tear running down her cheek.

Finally turning to look at her, Elliot saw the lone tear running down her face. It felt like he was punched in the gut. He hated the thought that he'd caused her tears. He moved to her, bringing his hand to her check and wiping the tear away and kissed her cheek where it formerly lay. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close and he gave into what he was feeling and hugged her back.

His arms were so strong and tight around her. She never felt so safe and loved, yet so alone at the same time.

He pulled back from the hug and looked at her, staring into her beautiful brown eyes and feeling an overwhelming sense of love. He leaned in and kissed her, pulling her tighter to him and continuing his assault on her mouth.

She moaned at the feel of his mouth on her and knew if she didn't get control of herself she would just let herself go so she pushed him away, wiping her lips and then speaking.

"What was that?" she asked incredulously.

"A kiss, Liv. It was a kiss. You gonna tell me you didn't like it, cause it sure felt like you did," he said confidently.

"You son of a bitch! Yeah, of course I liked it. You knew I would, is that why you did it, just wanted to get a reaction out of me so you could fuck me and then push me away again?" she yelled.

"God, Liv no that's not what I was doing. I swear," he explained.

"Then what were you doing Elliot?"

"I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to touch you," he said moving closer. "Tell me you didn't want me to kiss you and touch you," he said tauntingly.

"Fuck you! Seriously Elliot just fuck you! Of course I want all of that and you know it but as I just said to you not more than an hour ago, I also need your forgiveness. Can you give that to me? Can you forgive me Elliot?"

"I want to. You have no idea how much I want to. Can you give me time to get past this? Can you be with me while I do or have I totally blown it with you?" Elliot asked.

**A/N: Is Olivia willing to stay with only a tenuous promise of what they once were? Coming up….Olivia and Elliot are sick of not being part of the investigation so they decide they will find this perp themselves! Stay tuned.**

**Review? Here or twitter Qgirl25 Thanks guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys….side note…I was watching The Bodyguard with Whitney and Kevin C and that house that was his dad's in the movie is exactly how I pictured the safe house that Olivia and Elliot are staying in, in this story….so there's a visual for ya!**

Looking at Elliot, Olivia began to tear up. He wanted to get past the anger and pain. He wanted to be with her while he did. This is all she'd wanted for the past year, to be back in his life to have a chance to make things right.

Closing the distance between them, Elliot cupped her face with his hands. He brushed both thumbs over her eyes to wipe her tears away.

"Liv, please don't cry," he begged. "I never wanted to make you cry."

Pulling away from Elliot, a bit, Olivia said, "Don't worry, El they're happy tears."

Elliot smiled and pulled her close as he crashed his lips to hers. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled his head closer. The kiss was passionate, and she felt Elliot's love in it, which made her begin to weep a little bit more.

"Wow," Elliot said backing up slightly.

"Umm…yeah," Olivia said slightly embarrassed at how forward she was.

"So, I guess this means I haven't totally blown it with you?" Elliot asked.

Laughing, Olivia said, "No, El you haven't totally blown it with me. I was afraid I blew it with you. Let's just take it slow and see what happens. I know you love me. I feel it when you kiss me, when you look at me and when you made love to me I never felt anything like that, but,you're still pulling back a little, I do feel that and I understand it…"

Interrupting Olivia, Elliot said "Liv, it's not that I'm trying to pull back, I just don't…I don't know…"

"It's okay, El. You have a trust issue with me. I get that, truly I do and I don't blame you. Hey why don't we go outside and do something. I saw this trail down by the dock. Wanna see where it goes?"

"Yeah…Yeah, that sounds good. I'm gonna go get ready and call Cragen gimmie fifteen minutes okay?"

"Fifteen minutes…yeah I can do that," Olivia said seductively as she made her way to her bedroom.

Watching her walk away, Elliot had no doubt that this woman could honestly be the death of him one way or another. He shook his head as he walked to his own bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later, Olivia emerged from her own bedroom. She wasn't dressed as warmly as last time, as the cold weather was diminishing outside and it felt almost like a spring day. She looked around and saw that Elliot was not out in the living room. Late as usual, she thought to herself smirking.

Finally, about ten minutes later Elliot emerged from his bedroom. Olivia saw a look on his face that she remembered well, anger.

"El? What is it?" Olivia asked concerned.

Sighing, Elliot said, "Nothing, it's just no leads on the case. This nut job is out there, he wants to kill you, and Munch and Fin can't find a damn lead!" Elliot said with his voice beginning to get louder.

Standing up, walking across the room Olivia took her hands and moved them to Elliot's face. She looked him in the eyes and said, "It's okay, El. They will get him, we will get him, and he's not just after me, he's after you too!"

"I can take care of myself," Elliot said immediately regretting the words as they fell from his mouth.

Olivia removed her hands from Elliot's face, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him backwards. "Oh, really? So you are saying I can't take care of myself? What is this Elliot? Are you here with me because you want to be or you think you need to protect me out of some kind of obligation? I can fucking take care of myself! I always have! I don't need you to protect me from this asshole. I just need you to love me you son of a bitch!" she yelled turning around not wanting to face him any longer.

Elliot walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her torso. She tried to fight him, but not full on. She loved the contact, even though she was pissed at him.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I know you can take care of yourself. You are the most badass woman I've ever met. I just…I get a little protective, you know that. It's my issue. It has nothing to do with your ability to look after of yourself. I'm sorry."

She was trying to comprehend what he was saying, but the feel of his hands roaming over her abdomen to her breasts and back down, was making her slightly incoherent at that moment.

"Forgive me?" Elliot whispered her in ear in that low husky voice.

That was her undoing. She knew if he continued to talk to her in that voice, she would forgive him almost anything. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a familiar look. He knew that look. It was the you're an asshole but I'm going to forgive you look.

She leaned in and kissed him. She sought his tongue and when she found it she smirked.

"Yeah...yeah I forgive you. This time!" Olivia responded.

"You know, Liv. You really need to stop kissing me like that, cause it makes it hard for me to think of anything but taking you to bed," he whispered again.

Composing herself, Olivia brushed by him heading for the door. As she opened the door, she turned around to look back at Elliot and said coyly, "I know it does. You coming?"

Laughing, he made his way to the door, shaking his head again, and this time, actually mumbling something akin to his thoughts earlier and her causing him certain death.

Elliot and Olivia made their way down to the docks, him taking her hand in his and intertwining their fingers as they walked. She felt a shiver run through her body and the contact and they looked at each other and smiled.

Pointing ahead in the distance Olivia said, "See, there's the trail I was talking about. It looks like it goes right up to the top of the mountain."

"Yeah, it does. You sure you're up for that?" Elliot asked teasing her.

"Oh I'm up for it Stabler. Are you worried you can't keep up with me?" Olivia teased back.

Elliot stopped, his fingers still intertwined with Olivia's and pulled her flush against his hard body. He kissed her. His hands began to wander to every part of her body and she felt an ache down to her core. If he continued his machinations she knew they would never make it up that trail.

"El, come on….the trail remember?"

"Mmmm yeah…trail…I remember," Elliot said trailing kisses down her neck. After a long moment, he pulled away from Olivia and said, "Okay, okay let's go!"

As they began to make their way up the trail, Elliot grabbed Olivia's hand again and she smiled to herself thinking about how things were looking up between herself and Elliot. They had been walking for hours admiring how beautiful everything was with the snow on the trees and the ground and enjoying the peacefulness of their surroundings. Olivia felt so relaxed she didn't care if she ever got back to New York City. She knew though that despite the fact that Elliot was having fun under the circumstances, he was a city boy at heart and that although he made his home with Kathy in Queens, he loved the hustle and bustle of city life. She knew he'd go crazy out here full time.

Elliot heard Olivia's breathing become labored and knowing she'd never admit she was tired, he decided to get her to rest another way.

"Hey, I'm getting a bit tired. Mind if we stop here for a while?" Elliot asked.

"Sure…knew you couldn't keep up with me Stabler," Olivia responded.

"Yeah," he replied, seeing the relief on her face at the thought of stopping for a little while.

They found a wooden bench on the trail and sat down, taking in the beauty that surrounded them.

"Shhhhh," Elliot said suddenly. "You hear that?"

"No, I didn't hear anything," Olivia replied.

Grabbing for his gun, Elliot motioned for Olivia to sit still as he walked around. About five minutes later, he came back.

"I guess it was an animal or something," Elliot said. "I didn't see anything."

"You brought your gun with you?" Olivia asked.

"You didn't?" Elliot shot back.

Laughing, Olivia said, "No, we're supposed to be in a safe house where no one knows where the hell we are. I didn't think I needed my gun. Shit! There is a psycho killer out there whose after us and I didn't bring my gun. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Liv, nothing is wrong with you. Like you said you assumed we were safe out here. I guess I'm just a little paranoid," he said.

"El, can I ask you something?" Olivia inquired.

"Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"Are you scared? I mean…are you scared of the guy that's after us? I know I made a big deal earlier about being able to protect myself and I know I could if I had to, but truthfully this guy is freaking me out a bit and honestly, I'm glad you have my back." She explained.

Reaching his arm around her and rubbing her back, he said "Liv, I swear I won't let him hurt you."

"I know you'll try your best to keep that promise," she whispered. "You still haven't answered my question though. Are you afraid?"

Hesitating for a moment, Elliot finally began to speak. "I'm not scared of him exactly. I know I'll shoot the bastard if I need to. I am scared….umm…I…."

"What El?" Liv asked concerned. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared of him hurting you or trying to hurt you and not being there to protect you or save you," he said, connecting his eyes with hers.

"El, I'm gonna be fine. We both are," Olivia said reassuringly.

Sighing, Elliot said "I know…I know we will. You wanna keep going?" Elliot asked, pointing toward the top of the mountain.

"Can we sit here a little longer? It's relaxing," Olivia asked.

"Sure. Anything you want baby," Elliot said, as he leaned in and kissed her.

He'd called her baby. He hadn't called her that since that night a year ago. Olivia had butterflies in her stomach. She hadn't had that feeling since high school and he laughed to herself when she thought about how pathetic that seemed. How Elliot was able to make her so nervous, even after all these years.

"I remember when I was in Maine about four months ago," Olivia began and then quickly stopped, looking at Elliot and apologizing. She didn't want to rub in his face anything she had done while she'd been gone the past year.

"Liv, it's okay. I wanna hear where you've been and what you've done. I really do. Tell me, please."

She began again, telling him that she'd been in Maine during January and February, and how she had hiked a mountain that was just like this one. She had been by herself that day and she went on to explain how she had been missing Elliot then and had needed to get away from life. She had heard about an amazing view atop a mountain and decided to hike it, thinking she would feel some kind of accomplishment after getting to the top, but she didn't. She'd just sat there on the mountaintop for hours and cried. She told Elliot that sitting there had made her feel so small and alone, that she had accomplished this amazing feat, and the only thing she'd wanted to do was call him and tell him all about it, and then had realized she couldn't.

Olivia began crying as she told Elliot how much she regretted leaving the way she did. They had been over this already, but she had an overwhelming need to explain it again, to make him truly understand. He wiped her tears away and hugged her tightly, telling her she didn't need to go on, that he understood. It didn't matter; she wanted him to hear it again.

Olivia told Elliot of lonely night after lonely night. How her entire life had revolved around shooting Jenna and how that's how she began to think of herself. She hadn't felt like Olivia Benson any longer, she'd felt like she would always be known as the SVU cop who killed Jenna Fox.

"You have to know that for the rest of my life, I will regret leaving you that night. At the time, it seemed like the only thing I could do, and looking back it's the worst thing I ever did. I missed you. I cried for you, every night," she said.

"Liv, don't," Elliot pleaded. He hated seeing her in so much pain.

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thirteen years ago, you became my partner and if I'm truly honest with myself, I've loved you all these years. A year ago, you became so much more than my partner, more than a friend. You became the glue that held me together that night. I may have done something I couldn't take back, if you hadn't been there."

Elliot rose from the bench and began pacing back and forth, sighing every once in a while running his hand down his unshaven face.

"Liv, please don't talk like that. You leaving was hard enough, but knowing you were out there somewhere made it bearable. If I had thought for a minute you weren't still here somewhere on this planet, I would have died," Elliot explained.

"I can't believe the hell I put you through," Olivia said.

"I can't believe I made this about me, and didn't consider the hell you had been through," Elliot shot back.

"If I could go back, shit El, there is so much I would have done differently and yet I can't help but realize that everything that has happened has led us to this moment, to this spot on this mountain, and I'm happy here. I may not have everything I want or need from you right now, but I'm happy, so I ask myself should I regret everything I've done?"

"Olivia, I can't answer that you for you, honey but what I do think is that you have punished yourself enough for everything, for Jenna and me," Elliot said sympathetically.

"I don't know, El. I hurt so many people but I regret none more than you. I love you. I loved you then, and I love you even more now. I'm just sick of hurting people, and tired of the pain I feel inside for everything I've done," Olivia said softly.

"Come on," Elliot said holding his hand out to Olivia. "Let me take you home, or at least home as we are calling it now," he said smirking a bit.

Olivia laughed a bit; as she held her hand out to Elliot and felt him grab it. She held on tight as they began to make their way back down the mountain.

The entire walk back was eerily silent, as neither could find the right words for the other. Olivia wanted to continue to apologize to Elliot and Elliot just wanted to make her understand that she needed to get past the guilt she was feeling. He wanted to make everything right for her.

Finally, they arrived back at the safe house and Olivia went to walk in front of Elliot, just wanting to get out of the clothes she was in and soak in a hot bath. Before she could reach the door though, Elliot yelled out to her, and though she didn't turn around, he knew he had her attention as he said, "I forgive you."

Tears immediately formed in Olivia's eyes. Those words, those three little simple words meant the world to her. She felt a weight lift off her, she felt free for the first time in a year. Still keeping her back to him, she spoke before entering the house.

"I know you do, El," she said as she walked in letting the door shut behind her.

Smiling to himself and shaking his head, he hurried toward the door.

"Hey…hey," he said to her.

Olivia turned around with a big grin on her face.

"Yes?" she asked.

"How did you know I forgave you? I didn't really know it until the words came out." Elliot explained.

"You told me, El." Olivia responded.

"Yeah, I know I told you, but you said you already knew."

"I did. Like I said, you told me. I felt it most of the day, in the way you spoke to me, the way you kissed me, the way you held my hand. It was different than before. You weren't pulling back. You were pushing forward, closer to me, and that's when I knew that, even if you didn't say it, you had forgiven me." Olivia explained.

Elliot moved toward her and immediately closed any gap there was between them. He pushed his body flush with hers, grabbed her around the waist and crashed his lips to hers. Olivia moaned which elicited a moan from Elliot. They were all over each other, their want and need becoming overwhelming.

As Elliot was leading Olivia toward his bedroom, he leaned in and whispered, "I love you. I've always loved you and now I'm gonna show you how much."

**A/N: Next a night of nothing but love, but danger lurks around every corner.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Love you guys!**

Elliot led Olivia into the bedroom, His lips never leaving hers. He wanted to make this night perfect. The other night by the fire was damn near perfect he thought to himself, but this needed to be different. He had forgiven her. There was nothing standing between them anymore. He wanted to show her how deeply in love with her he is.

He broke their kiss and just looked at her. Her lips were swollen, and her hair was tousled and he thought to himself she had never looked more beautiful. He took off his own coat while she took off hers and her hands then immediately flew to the button on his pants. They never broke eye contact as she quickly worked on the button and zipper there; feeling him begin to harden immediately and she smirked. He quickly rid himself of his pants and boxers. She slid her hands up his shirt, feeling his rock hard body. The way she splayed her hands over him elicited a moan from deep inside him and she smiled at the sound. She loved the way her touch could send him over the edge. She quickly rid him of his shirt.

He decided to return the favor by grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting it over her head. Once he did so, he just stared at her body for a moment before grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. The kiss was slow and passionate. He knew that this could easily turn rough, due to the overwhelming need they were both feeling for each other at the moment, but he didn't want that. He wanted it slow and loving.

His lips trailed down to her neck, as she threw her head back, giving him more access. His hands then moved to her back and unhooked her bra, which he threw across the room. At the same time, Olivia removed her own pants unable to wait any longer. She then stood there in nothing but a pair of black panties and earned a sigh from Elliot.

"You're beautiful," he said as his hands went to her neck, pulling her head to his. His lips met hers again, as he could not get enough of his mouth on hers and he felt her breasts on his chest, her hardened nipples moving up and down as she began to grind against him.

Olivia began to moan against Elliot's lips. She was completely letting herself go with him, she didn't want to hold anything back. This was the first time; they'd been together with nothing between them. It had to be perfect.

Olivia again ran her hands up Elliot's shirt feeling every inch of her body that she could get her hands on. She kissed him everywhere, starting at his neck and moving herself downward until she hit his waistline.

He pulled her back up and wrapped his arms around her, peppering kisses down her neck the entire time. Then he moved her backward until they bumped in the bed. He then lowered them gently onto the bed, never removing his lips from her neck. Once they were on the bed, he situated himself between her legs, and she began to moan, a sound which earned a smirk from Elliot.

He moved his hands down the side of her body to her hips where his fingers stayed for a moment, then continued down to her thighs. He then moved his whole body downwards, and began kissing her inner thighs. She was writhing beneath him at this point and he knew she wanted him, but he was going to tease her as much as possible.

"El, please," she begged softly.

"Please what, baby?" he asked knowing full well what she was begging for.

"El, God…you...I want you," she replied barely able to breathe.

Feeling the wetness at her core, he said, "I can tell you want me."

He slipped two fingers deep inside her and she let out a yell he was sure anyone within a mile could have heard. She arched her back and ground against his fingers, begging him for more.

He lowered his lips to hers once more and kissed her passionately. "I'm so in love with you," he whispered into her ear.

"God, El I'm so in love with you too. I've waited so long for this," Olivia said panting.

Elliot removed his fingers and brought them to his mouth. He licked each one slowly, aware that he was turning Olivia on more and more with each movement of his tongue.

"Fuck, Elliot," she spat.

Knowing Olivia was more than ready, he lined up his erection with her and slid in. It felt like coming home. It was so natural to be with her. The other night was amazing, but something felt different this time. He felt free, free to love her the way he had always wanted to be able to. She felt amazing as he slowly slid in and out of her.

Olivia was grabbing the sheets beneath her and fisting them up in her hands and Elliot watched as her eyes rolled back in her head, as he continued to pump in and out of her, taking her places she didn't know existed. He felt she was close, but he didn't want this to end. It felt too good. He slid all the way out of her, and just stared at her.

"El, what are you doing?" Olivia asked confused.

"Nothing, baby just wanted to see if you would beg to be with me," he responded with a smirk on his face.

"You want me to beg? Right now? Okay, this is me begging!" she said as she reached up, grabbing the back of his neck and pressing her lips to his.

Laughing into her kiss, he slid himself back inside her, which earned him a most amazing moan from Olivia.

"Hmmm, seems you wanted me back in you, huh?" he whispered.

Elliot's egging on and dirty talk was turning her on so much, she knew she was closer to the edge then she had been a few moments ago. "God, yes," she blurted out as she grabbed the sheets again.

Elliot picked up the pace, as Olivia met him thrust for thrust. He knew he was close, but needed to wait for her. "Liv, I'm close," he panted.

"Me too," she replied. "Harder, please," she begged.

Not needing any more encouragement that her voice, Elliot began to thrust harder and harder into his lover. She moaned, hummed, swore and screamed his name so many times, as she came, that just the sound of her voice sent him over the edge. He spilled into her with such force he was sure he was going to pass out.

When he was spent, he pulled out of her and rolled over onto his side to face her. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face as he smiled at her.

"That was…"

"Amazing," he said cutting her off.

"Yeah, amazing works," Olivia replied. Sitting up a bit, Olivia pulled the sheet over her uncovered breasts and held the sheet with one hand, taking the other hand and gently stroking Elliot's face. He was leaning on his elbow continuing to smile at her.

Tears began to form in Olivia's eyes as she was trying to think of the words to express how she was feeling at the moment.

"Liv, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Elliot asked concerned taking his thumb and wiping away the tear.

"God, no Elliot. You didn't hurt me. I'm just happy, I don't how to really explain to you how amazing I feel right now. I don't just mean the sex. The sex was, well mind blowing…"

"Mind blowing huh?"

"Yes Elliot. It was mind blowing. Does that stroke your ego enough?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

"Oh yeah," he responded crashing his lips to hers once more and lying her down on the bed again.

"Mmmm, Elliot, God."

Seconds later though, Elliot was sitting up again, apologizing for getting carried away while Olivia was trying to be serious.

"It's okay, El. I wasn't complaining," Olivia responded.

"I know, but you were trying to explain something to me, and I got….well as usual, you turned me on and I got lost in you," Elliot said.

Blushing, Olivia said, "It's okay. I was just trying to tell you how happy I am. I won't lie though Elliot, I'm scared too. Everything is great while we're here cut off from the real world, but what happens when we go back to the city?"

"Hey," he said tilting her head up to look into her eyes. "Liv, when we get home things are gonna be even better. I promise. I'm not running, you're not running. We're gonna be fine. We're gonna be perfect. I promise."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer to her, tightening her grip around him as if she were hanging on for dear life. He hugged her back just as tight, letting her know he wasn't leaving her, ever.

Breaking their embrace after a long moment, Olivia asked, "Hey you want something to eat?"

"I could eat," Elliot responded. "You want some help?"

"No, you stay here, I got it," she replied as she got up from the bed and threw her robe on.

Olivia walked out of the bedroom into the living room. Within seconds, Elliot heard her scream. He jumped out of bed grabbing his boxer shorts. He came running out of the bedroom and saw Olivia's face, it was ashen, and she wasn't speaking so he had no idea what had happened. All it seemed she could do was point to the wall in the living room. Elliot was confused until he looked more closely and then all he could say was "Fuck!"

Written on the wall with something red, something that neither of them could identify at the moment were the words, _Elliot did you fuck her good this time?_

Upon finishing reading, Elliot immediately ran into the bedroom and threw on his pants grabbing his gun. He walked out to the living room to see Olivia just sitting on the couch looking stunned.

"Liv, I'm gonna, look around make sure he's gone. You okay?"

She waved him off, as if to say yeah whatever I'm fine, and reluctantly, Elliot left her in the front room, making his way through the house checking every closet, under every bed any crawl space.

He returned to the living room awhile later, to find Olivia still sitting on the couch.

"He's gone," he said to Olivia as he sat down next to her pulling his phone from his pocket.

He immediately called Cragen and explained the situation to him.

"Hey…Liv…hey…you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah…yeah….no...actually no I'm not okay. This guy was in here Elliot. He was in here while we were in the bedroom. Was he watching? Was he listening? Jesus Christ!" she said, her voice becoming louder.

"I don't know, baby," Elliot responded with empathy in his voice. "Look, Cragen is coming up here with Munch and Fin and a CSU team. You wanna get dressed?"

"Yeah…yeah let's do that," Olivia said stoically, as she got up and walked to the bedroom.

Elliot watched as Olivia put her clothes on, she still seemed shocked and out of sorts. He wasn't sure what to do for her, other than reassure her that the guy was long gone by now.

Walking over to her after she'd put on her last article of clothing, Elliot pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight.

"He's gone. It's gonna be okay, I promise I won't let him hurt you," he whispered into her ear.

"I know," she whispered back.

About an hour later there was a knock at the door. Elliot and Olivia had just stayed in the bedroom not wanting to look at the living room wall and she immediately jumped when she heard the knock. Elliot reassured her that it was probably Cragen, Munch and Fin and told her to stay there, while he went to the door. Ignoring his command, she followed closely behind him to the front door. He quickly drew his gun as he opened the door.

"Jesus Stabler!" Fin exclaimed.

"Sorry…sorry guys," Elliot said moving to the side allowing them in.

"Wow!" Munch said as he and Cragen looked at the wall. "Our guy doesn't beat around the bush, huh?"

Munch's comment garnered looks from everyone in the room.

"Hey, just trying to lighten the mood here guys," Munch explained.

This time, his statement did earn a bit of a laugh from everyone, except Olivia who was still just standing quietly looking at the wall.

"Okay, look guys you two are obviously not safe here anymore. Pack your stuff up, let CSU do their job and we're going home." Cragen said authoritatively.

Once Elliot and Olivia were packed, Fin and Munch grabbed the duo's bags as they all took one last look around the house. Ten minutes later, Olivia was standing in the bedroom as Elliot came in asking if she was ready to go. She nodded her head and began to sob a little bit.

Seeing the confusion on his face at her emotions, Olivia began to explain to Elliot that the most amazing night of their lives was ruined by this asshole and she was having a hard time accepting it. She went on to tell him that maybe it was someone's way of saying they weren't meant to be together. If such an amazing and loving night could end like this, what hope did they have of ever having a normal life?

Elliot tried reassuring her that what happened tonight had nothing to do with their feelings for each other or the life they were going to have with each other. He explained to her that his love for her transcended everything he's ever known and that he wouldn't let anything or anyone come between them.

Olivia wanted to believe everything Elliot was saying to her, but something was nagging at her, something was telling her that she didn't deserve him because she had left him. It was if the universe was telling her that she wasn't good enough for Elliot and he deserved someone who would never leave him. She didn't want to believe that, she loved him. She would die before she would ever hurt him again and so she kept her thoughts to herself.

"Come on Liv, you ready? Let's go home?" Elliot said to her.

"I'm ready," Olivia responded holding her hand out to his.

**A/N: Dynamic duo back in the city and pissed off! They decide to crack this case if it kills them, or will the perp kill them first?**

**Review? Qgirl25**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: As always, thank you for the reviews **

Elliot stormed into Cragen's office slamming the door.

"What the hell happened? How did he find us up there? Only seven people knew where we were!" Elliot yelled.

"Good Morning to you too, Detective," Cragen said sarcastically.

Rubbing his hand down his face Elliot apologized to Cragen for his attitude, explaining that he was extremely worried about Olivia and not sure how much more she could handle.

"Olivia is stronger than you think, Elliot," Cragen said.

"I know she is Captain. She's the strongest woman I've ever known, but even she has her breaking point and this might be it. She's not back a month after being gone a year, having shot a child and now some crazy mother fucker is trying to kill us! She's strong yes, but she's scared also and I'm scared for her." Elliot explained to his captain.

"Elliot, I'm thrilled you two have worked things out obviously but you need to keep your head in the game here. You can't let your personal feelings for Olivia cloud your judgment on this case," Cragen replied.

"I'd never do that. My head is in the game," Elliot replied.

"You're sleeping with her Elliot. Our perp made sure everyone who went into that house knew that."

"It's more than I'm sleeping with her!" Elliot yelled almost insulted that his captain would think it could ever be just sex between himself and Olivia. "I'm in love with her. If you or IAB doesn't like it then fire me, I don't care. I'm not giving her up. I just got her back, I can't lose her again."

Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Cragen said "Woah, Elliot no one said anything about anyone being fired or IAB. Let's just catch this guy, make sure you two are safe and worry about the rest later okay?"

"Thanks, Captain," Elliot replied.

"So when you came rushing in her biting my head off, I got the feeling you were trying to tell me you think we have a leak here. Am I right?" Cragen asked.

"I hope not Captain but we were found at a safe house. It's called a safe house for a reason," Elliot explained.

"Okay, I'll check out the two uniforms that were aware of where you two were. You work the case with Munch, Olivia and Fin," Cragen told Elliot.

Nodding his head in agreement, Elliot turned around to leave his captain's office. He walked over to Olivia who was sitting at her desk going through all the interviews Munch and Fin had done while he and Olivia were at the safe house.

Elliot walked up to Olivia placing his hand on her back and said, "Hey, how ya doin?"

Olivia jumped at Elliot's touch. Realizing it was Elliot, she felt foolish at her reaction.

"I'm sorry Elliot. I'm just jumpy."

"It's okay. I get it." Elliot said to her.

He then sat on her desk facing her and told her of his conversation with Cragen. She told him she had the same suspicions that someone may have leaked their whereabouts but didn't mention it to him because she thought he may think she was just being paranoid.

"Liv, don't ever be afraid to tell me something, please," Elliot begged.

"I won't again, El I promise," she said placing her hand on top of his.

Walking over to the board, Elliot just stared at it as they had each done for most of the night since they got back to the station. Sighing that he couldn't see anything new, Olivia noticed his fist begin to tighten and knew he was about to lose it. She walked up behind him, placing her hand on his back this time.

"What are we missing?" he asked her.

"I have no idea, but it's here I can feel it," Olivia responded.

"Staring at this board is getting us nowhere. You wanna get outta here for a while?" Elliot asked Olivia.

Grabbing her coat she responded, "Yes I want out of here. Let's go."

Elliot told Munch they were going to grab something to eat and would be back in about an hour. They made their way toward the elevators, not looking back at their co-workers. When they finally stepped on the elevator and the doors closed, Elliot pushed Olivia against the wall and crashed his lips to hers.

"Shit, I've wanted to do that all night," he whispered in her ear. "I've missed you."

"Missed me? You've been with me all night, El," Olivia said wrapping her arms around his neck and peppering it with kisses.

"Jesus Liv," he moaned. "Yeah we've been together all night but not like this."

The elevator came to a stop on the bottom floor and they walked out. Olivia headed toward the parking garage but Elliot suggested they walk. She took his hand and intertwined hers with his and led him to the front door of the station. They walked a few blocks in silence, not really knowing where they were heading just that they needed a break from being in the station and talking about the case.

"You okay?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah…actually no not really," Olivia responded.

Elliot noticed they had walked to Central Park. He led Olivia to a bench in the park and they sat down. He ran his hand down her cheek, brushing away the lone tear he saw forming in her eye. He leaned in and kissed her. She immediately responded bringing her hands to his face. The kiss started out slow and passionate and quickly became rough and frenzied.

"Fuck, if we weren't in this park right now," Elliot mumbled.

Laughing, Olivia said, "Yeah, if only."

"Liv, talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you." Elliot begged.

Olivia stood up taking in the beautiful day. Her mind wandered back to the safe house, the snow, the fireplace, the trail up the mountain and most of all the way she was able to get Elliot back in her life.

"I wish we weren't here," she said with her back to Elliot.

"The park? You wanna go somewhere else?" Elliot asked confused.

"No, not the park, the city. I wish were still at the safe house. I was happy there Elliot. I was happier there than I have been in over a year, probably happier than I've been in over twelve years and because that bastard found us there, we had to leave," Olivia said with her voice becoming louder.

Elliot stood up walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her torso from behind. She placed her hands on his hands and leaned back. Her back now flush with the front of his body.

"I feel like being back here where everything went wrong is no good for us, El. At the safe house it was just you and I, nothing between us," Olivia began to explain.

"There's nothing between us here, Liv. Nothing's changed just because we are home. I love you. I'm in love with you. Where we are, physically, can't ever change that. You need to believe that."

"I want to…it's just..it's just that it wasn't easy for you to forgive me Elliot and I'm afraid of losing you again. I'm not afraid of a lot in this world but that is the one thing that scares the hell out of me," Olivia said breaking away from Elliot's hold.

"Hey…Hey," he said grabbing her arm and turning her around to face him. "You aren't gonna lose me, Liv. I'm not going anywhere, I swear. What can I say to make you believe me?"

"Nothing..nothing El, this is my issue. I need to deal with it. Come on let's get back," Olivia said walking away from Elliot.

Sighing at his lack of being able to convince Olivia he loved her, he ran to catch up to her. When he finally did he ran up beside her putting his arm around her, leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. "I love you, Benson," he said.

She looked up at him and smiled. She knew he was being completely honest with her right now. She felt his love. She felt it in the way he said it, the way he kissed her and most of all the way he looked at her.

"I love you too Stabler," she responded.

This time he grabbed her hand squeezing it tight and never letting it go until they got back to the station.

They walked back into the station both secretly hoping their co-workers had made some progress in the little time they were gone.

"Got anything?" Elliot asked as he hung up his and Olivia's coats.

"Nothin," Fin responded.

"Shit! What are we missing here?" Olivia asked.

Olivia was so focused on looking at the board with the information on it, she didn't even notice the delivery man that walked in and the large bouquet of roses he held in his hand.

"Olivia Benson?" the delivery man called out.

Elliot immediately turned his head and felt his stomach drop. He knew he didn't send Olivia flowers and that the chances someone else did were slim to none. He knew they were from the perp.

After signing for the flowers and giving the man a tip, Olivia reached for the card. She looked at Elliot who gave her a reassuring look that everything would be okay. She took the card from the envelope and read it out loud to her co-workers. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF SUDDENLY ELLIOT WAS KILLED? COULD YOU GO ON? SEE YOU SOON OLIVIA. She dropped the card to the floor and slumped into her chair.

She covered her mouth with her hand and began shaking. Elliot immediately ran over to her making sure she was alright.

"No, I'm not alright Elliot. All this time we thought this guy was coming after me, but he's not it's you that he wants. It's you that he wants to kill. Somehow he thinks I've wronged him in some way and wants me to suffer as he has. Could be the loved one of a rape victim who died or who didn't get justice. Shit I don't know," Olivia said feeling as though she was going to be physically ill.

"Liv, I'm okay. Look at me, I'm fine," he said trying to reassure her.

"Jesus Christ Elliot I can see you are fine right now, but you won't be once this guy finds you!" Olivia shouted.

"Captain! Where's the captain?" Olivia said looking around.

"Olivia, I'm right here," Cragen responded.

"You need to get a protective detail on Elliot right now!" she said almost demanding.

Elliot stepped in front of Olivia and Cragen trying to reason with her. "Liv, I don't need a protective detail I can handle this."

"Screw you Elliot! You had no problem putting one on me behind my back when you thought I needed it and I think you need it!"

"Liv, come with me," Elliot said taking her hand and leading her to the cribs.

They entered the cribs and Elliot gently closed the door behind him. He walked up behind Olivia wrapping his arms around her. "Liv, I'm gonna be okay. I promise," he whispered into her ear.

Breaking Elliot's hold on her Olivia turned around to look at him. "Elliot, you don't get it. This guy wants to kill you to hurt me. If anything ever happened to you because of me, I would never forgive myself. If anything happened to you in general I couldn't handle it. Don't do this to me, please. I just got you back in my life, I can't lose you to some psychopath!" Olivia said begging Elliot.

"Okay….okay…I'll take the protective detail if it will make you feel better," he said wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her flush against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck burying her head in his neck and began to sob.

"Thank you El," she whispered.

Elliot and Olivia made their way back down to squad room. Everyone asked Olivia if she was okay. She apologized to her co-workers for freaking out and explained to them the best thing they could do was crack this case to ensure Elliot's safety. Everyone agreed. They all began going over witness statements, coroner's reports anything they could find. Olivia started staring at the board that had the victim's names and pictures on it. She looked like she was zoning out.

"Liv, hey you okay?" Elliot asked.

Olivia looked past him as if she hadn't even heard him. She stood up and walked over to the board. She began to erase the names of the victims. Munch and Fin looked at her as if she were losing it but Elliot motioned to them to let her do whatever she was doing. After erasing the board, she picked up a piece of chalk and began writing the victims names one on top of the other starting with the first victim.

She stared at the names for about five minutes, then took the chalk and circled the first letter of each girl's name. She gasped when she realized what she had discovered. Elliot, Munch and Fin looked on shocked as well.

"Do you guys see what I see?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah…yeah I think we do," Elliot answered.

"The names, the first letter of every victim's first name spells Jenna. Oh my God, Jenna," Olivia whispered.

**A/N: Ahhhhhh well there's a twist for ya! **

**Review here or on twitter! Thanks Qgirl25**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys!**

"Liv, you okay," Elliot asked.

Sitting down as she stared into space Olivia said, Yeah...yeah I'm okay."

"Olivia, don't lie to me," Elliot begged.

"Okay, I'm not okay. Jesus Elliot what the hell is going on here? Five dead girls whose first letters of their first names spell out Jenna? What the hell is this?" Olivia asked.

Rubbing her back Elliot responded, "I don't know baby, but I'm gonna find out I promise."

Standing from her chair, Olivia decided that she couldn't let this guy get her head. Elliot's life is on the line and she will be dammed if she will let this bastard hurt him. Cragen had Munch and Fin checking on any male relatives that Jenna may have had. Elliot and Olivia informed their co-workers that Annette Fox had never mentioned anything about Jenna's father and they never asked, as it wasn't pertinent to her rape case. They always just assumed he was either dead or not in the picture at all. They tossed around the idea of an uncle, brother or just some random whack job.

"I'll be right back," Olivia said as she made her way to the cribs.

Elliot watched the woman he loves walk away. He knew she was hurting, on the verge of possibly cracking. He didn't know what to do for her. She had been through so much, worked so hard to get past what happened with Jenna and now this. He was starting to feel like this girl was going to haunt Olivia for the rest of her life.

Elliot knew Olivia needed some space, some time alone to think, but the thought of her up in the cribs hurting; blaming herself all over again was too much for him. He made his way up to the cribs slowly opening the door. He quietly shut the door behind him and saw Olivia sitting on one of the cots with her face in her hands sobbing.

Elliot quickly made his way over to her kneeling down in front of her. He took her hands to pull them away from her face.

"Liv, look at me," he whispered.

Shaking her head no she said, "I can't Elliot. I can't do this, please leave me alone," she responded softly.

"That's not gonna happen Olivia and you know it. There's no way I'm leaving you." Elliot told her as he gently took her hands in his.

He watched as the tears rolled down her face. His heart broke for her. She had been through so much in the past year and worked through it, finding her way back home to her life, to him. He couldn't lose her again to that one horrible night.

Olivia bowed her head refusing to make eye contact with Elliot. She didn't want him to see the weakness in her that she felt. She couldn't let him see that she was just about to give up on everything, walk out of the station and never look back.

"Liv, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking, please," Elliot begged.

Wiping the tears from her face, Olivia began to explain to Elliot that this is just another way of someone telling her that she can't be happy. She's not allowed to be happy because of what she had done to Jenna. She told Elliot that she was poison and would be better off without her.

Elliot tried to explain that what happened with Jenna was not her fault. It was a good shoot and she had been cleared. Olivia shot back stating that although in the eyes of IAB it was a good shoot, she still took the life of a teenage girl, whose mother had just been murdered, who she promised to help through that horrific event.

Elliot was beginning to feel that there was nothing he could do or say that would make Olivia believe that what happened that day wasn't her fault. Elliot didn't want to make Olivia feel worse or hurt her in any way but he needed her to understand. He began to talk of their time at the safe house. He reminded her of everything she had told him. Her journey for the past year, finding peace with what had happened, making him understand why she left and finally how she made him realize he was still in love with her. He went on to explain that he finally had her back in his life, and there was no way he was going to let her give up and blame herself for any of this.

"Elliot, I was kidding myself thinking I could have a normal life, a life with you after what I did. It's just not gonna happen. We're not meant to be, that's the bottom line. The sooner we both accept it, the better off we'll be," Olivia said almost robotically.

"Olivia, this is not you talking. This is your guilt talking again, guilt you shouldn't even be feeling. I don't believe we aren't meant to be together. After you being gone for a year and me being a bastard when you came back, we still somehow got through it and found our way back to each other. I'm not losing you Olivia!" Elliot said his voice becoming louder.

Olivia got up off the cot and walked past Elliot. He grabbed her arm turning her around brining her body flush with his. They stared at each other for at least five minutes without saying a word. Olivia tried to move away but Elliot's strength was too much for her. He wouldn't let her go.

"Elliot, let go of me," she pleaded.

"Liv please don't do this," he said moving his head closer to her lips until they touched lightly.

He wrapped his arms around her waist as the kiss became more frenzied and passionate. Her arms found their way to his arms where she rubbed his biceps up and down until she settled her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. She moaned at the contact. Elliot began to move her backwards towards the cot she was originally sitting on. Never breaking contact with her lips, Elliot gently laid Olivia on the cot bringing his hands to her face, where he brushed her hair out of her face and wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. He kissed her cheek running his lips and tongue down to her collarbone and back up again until their lips met again.

His hands flew to the zipper of her pants where he went to work on them. He felt her shimmy out of her pants giving him access to her throbbing core. Elliot tugged at the hem of her shirt running his hands up her abdomen to her breasts.

"God, Elliot," she groaned.

He reached behind her back, unhooking her bra giving him full access to her breasts. He took the full breast in his hand tweaking at her nipple until he felt it harden. Olivia felt herself becoming wetter and wetter with every touch. Olivia took her hands and went to work on Elliot's shirt. She worked the buttons slowly and methodically driving Elliot insane. Every once in a while, she would run her hands up and down his chest peppering him with kisses anywhere she could find bare skin.

Elliot took his hand and inserted two fingers into Olivia eliciting a scream that he quickly quieted by crashing his lips to hers. He knew anyone could walk in on them at any moment, but he didn't care. He was too far gone and wanted her too much. He moved his fingers around inside her waiting to hit that spot he knew would drive her insane. When she grabbed the mattress on the cot and tried to ball it into her hand, he knew he found that spot. Olivia arched her back wanting more contact from Elliot's magic fingers. He slowly and painfully, as far as Olivia was concerned, slid his fingers in and out of her. Closing her eyes, Olivia threw her head back trying to stifle the moans she wanted to let out so badly.

She looked up, staring into Elliot's beautiful blue eyes. She went back to work on his shirt finally putting her hands under it at his shoulders and slowly pulling it off him. She stared at his body for a minute before leaning up and going to work on his bare chest again. Olivia's mouth and tongue on his chest was eliciting moans and groans from Elliot she had never heard before.

Finally unable to take anymore foreplay Elliot ran his hands up and down Olivia's leg slowly pulling her panties down and completely off her. He threw them over his shoulder not caring where they landed. He knew their time was limited, as their co-workers would be wondering any minute where they were. He lined up his rock hard erection with Olivia's dripping we core and slid it inside her. Olivia moaned in ecstasy at Elliot being inside her again. She felt every time they were together like this that everything would be okay, although in her head she knew that wasn't the case. She didn't care right now; she just wanted to feel something good, and everything about Elliot being inside her felt good.

Elliot began moving at an alarming rate, sending Olivia quickly over the edge. She tried as much as possible to keep her moans and groans to a minimum but Elliot was too good of a lover for her to keep completely silent. Once again, he silenced her with a kiss which was wet and hot and sent him over the edge, spilling his seed inside her.

When they were done, Elliot rolled off of her both of them still panting. As he reached for Olivia, she quickly rolled herself off the cot and immediately began putting her clothes back on.

"Liv?" Elliot questioned.

"Elliot, I'm sorry I don't want you to think that what just happened changes my feelings on anything. I'm poison. You're life is in danger because I shot Jenna, and I don't have the right to happiness, especially not with you. I'm sorry," Olivia tried to explain.

"What the hell are you doing Olivia?" Elliot said speaking loudly.

"I'm going to work this case and find out who this bastard is and then I'm leaving. I'm leaving SVU, leaving New York and leaving you. It's the only way for you to be happy and safe," Olivia stammered.

"Olivia, you're not leaving me. I won't let you," Elliot stated matter of factly.

"Elliot, it's not up to you," Olivia shot back.

"So what was this? One last roll in the hay for good times? One last good fuck before you blow me off and run away from me again?" Elliot said with disdain in his voice.

"Jesus Elliot it was sex, get over it," Olivia stated.

"Sex? That was just sex to you? Wow, you really can be a cold-hearted bitch when you want to be can't you?" You told me you were sorry you left me, it was the biggest mistake of your life and now you're going to run again? You have any idea what it took for me to trust you again, to let myself love you again? Go Olivia, have a great fuckin life but can you promise me one thing before you go?" Elliot asked.

"Anything," Olivia whispered.

"Promise me you will never again come back into my life after you walk out. Don't call me, don't come see me and for the love of all that's holy don't ever tell me you love me again. You've hurt me for the last time Olivia. You want out? You got it. Work the case and then get the hell outta my life," Elliot yelled as he walked out of the cribs slamming the door behind him.

Olivia sat back down on the cot where she had just made love to Elliot, curling herself up into a ball and began to sob. She just continued to mumble Elliot I'm so sorry, I do love you, I'm just good enough for you anymore. You deserve better. She said it over and over until she truly started to believe it.

Elliot stormed downstairs and asked Munch and Fin if they found out anything about any males in Jenna's life. Munch and Fin could clearly see that something was bothering Elliot. They asked what it was, but he denied anything was wrong.

"Where's Liv?" Fin asked.

"Who cares," Elliot mumbled.

"What? I didn't hear you." Fin stated.

"I said I think she's upstairs, I don't actually know," Elliot responded.

Just then he saw Olivia coming down the stairs and walking toward him. She went to say something to him but he immediately walked away not giving her a chance to.

"Munch, I asked you anything on any male relatives of Jenna's?" Elliot said annoyed.

"As a matter of fact I did find something. It wasn't easy I had to go through many records while you two, pointing at Elliot and Olivia, were off doing God knows what," Munch began to explain.

"Munch! Did you find anything?" Elliot yelled.

"If you'd keep your shirt on I will explain what I found. Turns out Jenna does have a father, but he's been in prison for the past ten years. He wasn't easy to find because his last name isn't Fox. Fox, it turns out, is Annette's maiden name which she went back to after she divorced Jenna's father and he went to prison," Munch explained to his co-workers.

"What's he in prison for?" Olivia asked.

"WAS in prison for would be the correct phrase Olivia. He was release a month after Jenna…he got out…" Munch began to say but couldn't find the words.

"Jesus Christ Munch…you're trying to say he got out of prison a month after I killed Jenna right? Christ just say it, everyone here knows what I did," Olivia said stotically.

"Okay, a month after Jenna was killed her father, Hayden Davide, was released. He was at Sing Sing. Armed robbery and attempted rape. No one knows exactly where he is right now. He was a pretty model ex-con after he was released according to his parole officer, but a few months ago he began acting erratically. He started missing his weekly check-ins with his PO and has no fallen off the grid completely," Munch stated.

Running his hand down his face and sighing Elliot said, "Great so we have no idea where this psychopath is right now is that what you're saying Munch?"

"Yes, Elliot that would be what I'm saying," Munch responded.

"Okay, I want an APB out on this guy and want all of you talking to anyone who has talked to this guy since his release from prison," Cragen interjected.

"What about Elliot's protective detail?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I changed my mind about that, ain't happening and please don't act like you give a shit either Olivia," Elliot said to her.

He saw the hurt in her eyes at his words and felt horrible, but he couldn't help it. She had just slept with him and then dumped him again. He was sick of the games and being jerked around.

"Elliot are you sure?" Cragen asked.

"Oh I'm positive," Elliot responded.

"Elliot can I talk to you alone for a minute," Olivia asked.

"Oh sure, Liv there's nothing more I want right now then to talk to you," he said dryly walking into one of the interrogation rooms.

Olivia walked in after him closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing Elliot? You promised me you would take the protective detail," Olivia asked.

"Yeah, well you promised me you wouldn't leave me again so I guess we're even. Is that it? We have interviews to do," Elliot said in a tone Olivia had never heard him use with her before.

"Elliot you don't understand…"

Elliot cut her off stating, "Oh you got that right Olivia, I don't understand anything anymore. I don't think I want to either. I'm done with the roller coaster ride you've had me on for the last year. I have loved you, lost you, got you back and fell in love with you again. You've screwed me literally and figuratively for the last time. I'm done Olivia. Let's get back to work," Elliot said walking out of the room leaving Olivia standing there dumbfounded and shocked at how much she's actually hurt him.

Olivia walked out of the interrogation room, walking by Elliot to grab her coat.

"I'll be back in a few guys, I need some air," Olivia told them.

Elliot watched her walk toward the elevators and his heart broke. He knew he loved her and she was doing all of this out of fear and pain. He knew he couldn't let her go without a fight.

She walked to the elevators and stepped on. Just as the door was about to close Elliot jumped into the elevator.

"You here to make me feel a little more shitty than I already do?" she asked him.

"I came to apologize for the way I spoke to you. I was hurt. I still am, but I shouldn't have said some of the things I said to you. I'm sorry," Elliot stated.

They arrived at the bottom floor and they both stepped off the elevator.

"Do you wanna walk me out?" Olivia asked.

"I wanna make things right with you Olivia," Elliot replied.

"El, you need to know what happened in the cribs was not just sex. I love you. I always have, I always will. I just feel like I'm some kind of jinx right now. Jenna's dad is out there and wants to kill you because he blames me for his daughter's death. I feel like if you are away from me, you'll be safe," Olivia said trying to explain her thinking to Elliot.

Shaking his head, Elliot said, "Maybe I would be safe, maybe I wouldn't but what I do know is that I'll never truly be happy without you and if you're honest with yourself Liv, you won't be happy without me," Elliot stated.

Brining her hand to his face and stroking his cheek Olivia said, "You're right, I won't be."

She hesitantly moved closer to Elliot not sure how he would react. She was pleasantly surprised when he reached out for her grabbing her and pulling her to him. He hugged her so tightly, she thought she might break but she didn't care. She knew she came so damn close to blowing it with Elliot just a half an hour ago. She hugged him back and began to cry.

"Elliot, I would have never been able to leave you, I hope you know that. You're part of me, the best part of me. I love you," she whispered into his ear.

Cupping her face in his hands, he told her "It's gonna be okay, we're gonna get this guy okay?"

"Yeah, we'll get him. I'm gonna walk for a bit. You mind?" Olivia asked.

"No, no you go ahead. I'm gonna go get a list together of who we're interviewing. We'll start when you get back okay?"

"Yeah, we can do that," she said smiling as she kissed him and told him she loved him.

He watched as she walked down the steps of the stationhouse. About fifty yards ahead Elliot saw a man approach her with what looked like a gun. Elliot immediately ran down the steps towards Olivia, his gun drawn. He watched helplessly as the man pushed Olivia into a car. He drew his gun, planning to shoot out the tires, but couldn't get a shot off. He immediately recognized the man from Munch's picture, it was Jenna's dad Hayden Davide, and he just kidnapped Olivia.

**A/N: OH NO! Okay who caught what I did with the name of Jenna's dad? I couldn't resist LOL sorry to all who still watch SVU!**

**Review here? Twitter? Qgirl25**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

Elliot watched as the car drove off with Olivia inside. He quickly ran back into the precinct screaming that Davide had taken Olivia. Cragen finally calmed him down enough to get the whole story. Elliot was able to get the make and model of the car and a partial plate. An APB was immediately put out for his arrest in connection with the murder of five women and the kidnapping of a police officer.

A few hours had passed since Elliot watched Davide throw Olivia into his car. At this point, Elliot was pacing back and forth wondering why the hell no one had found Olivia yet. In his head he knew a few hours was not a big deal, but this was Olivia and when it came to her and her safety all rational thoughts go out the window.

Elliot decided to go up to the roof to get some air. He told Munch if anyone was looking for him, that's where he would be. When he arrived at the roof Elliot pushed the door open with extreme force. His anger was finally coming to fruition. He had held it in for the last few hours and in front of his colleagues but now alone, he could no longer hold back the intense anger he felt that Olivia was gone. He second guessed himself. He wondered why he let her walk away alone. They had just made up after he had been horrible to her. The guilt he felt remembering the things he had said to her was eating him alive. They had made up before she was taken, but it was all still there for him. It was raw and gnawing at him.

Elliot was startled when he heard the door to the roof open. He quickly turned, half expecting Olivia to be standing there.

"Captain! Any news? Did they find her?" Elliot asked anxiously.

"No, nothing yet Elliot. I'm sorry. I just came up here to see how you are."

Pacing back and forth, Elliot let out a hearty sigh.

"Jesus! Why did I let her walk away alone?" Elliot asked out loud.

"Because she's a cop Elliot and can take care of herself. You know this," Cragen explained.

"I don't know what I know anymore Captain. All I do know is that I watched the woman I…I watched Olivia get thrown into a car by a guy that has killed five girls and wants Olivia and I dead." Elliot screamed.

"Elliot….you need to calm down and get a hold of yourself. You will be no good to Olivia if you go off half cocked. Don't make me take you off this case." Cragen said.

Laughing, Elliot said, "Take me off it, I don't give a shit. I'll work it anyway and you know it. You know me well enough to know there's no way I'm sitting back and doing nothing while Olivia is out there with that psycho."

"I know you would, which is why I'm cutting you some slack Elliot. Don't make me regret it," Cragen warned.

"I won't…I'm sorry Captain. Let' get downstairs. I need to get in this guy's head and figure out where he took Liv," Elliot said as he headed toward the door of the roof.

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Olivia felt as though they had been driving for about an hour when she felt the car starting to slow down. Davide had blindfolded her after they got out of the city so she had no real idea where they were. She knew Elliot saw her get thrown in the car so she knew he would already be looking for her. A small part of her hoped he wouldn't find her as she thought back to the notes that Davide had sent, especially the last one about Elliot being dead. Just thinking about that one, made her stomach churn. She needed to help herself out of this situation before Elliot tried to rescue her and this psycho tries to kill him. She knows that Davide wants Elliot to find them. He wants to kill Elliot and he's going to use her to lure him out. She can't be the reason Elliot gets hurt. The more she thought about all the possibilities that could happen, the sicker she became.

The car finally came to a stop, as Olivia's stomach sank. Davide opened the door, yanking Olivia out of the car and dragging her to the front door of the house they had arrived at.

"Where are we?" Olivia asked.

"Shut up," Davide said shoving the gun into her side.

When they got inside Davide tied Olivia to a chair leaving her blindfolded. She was hoping he would take off the blindfold so she could get some kind of read on him and what his plans were. She got her wish. He removed the blindfold, revealing their location. Olivia gasped.

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"Elliot you need to calm down," Fin told him.

"Don't tell me to calm down! Tell me where the hell Olivia is and if she's okay!" Elliot screamed.

"Look man, I know you're upset about Olivia, we all are but don't…"

Elliot cut Fin off before he could finish. Rubbing his hand down his unshaven face, Elliot said, "You're right, I'm sorry man. I just…I need her to be okay…if anything…Shit! I'm just sorry okay?"

Patting Elliot on the back, Fin responded with kind words for his friend and coworker.

"We need to get in this guy's head and figure out where he took Liv. Where the hell is Huang?" Elliot asked.

"He's on his way," Cragen said walking out of his office.

About twenty minutes later, Huang walked into the squad room much to Elliot's delight. He needed to find Olivia and felt Huang might be his only hope at this point.

"Hey guys," Huang said as he approached them. "The Captain filled me in let me look at what you've got and see what I can come up with."

"Doc, you need to come up with something and quick. We need to find Olivia now!" Elliot told him.

"Elliot why don't you and I go get some air?" Cragen asked.

"Cap, I'm fine I don't need air, I need to find Olivia," Elliot said getting angry at the way everyone seemed to be "handling" him.

"Detective!" Cragen said with authority. "It was not a request. Let's go!" Cragen stated grabbing Elliot by the arm leading him outside the station house.

When they got outside the station, Elliot violently pulled his arm out of Cragen's grip starting him down. He didn't want to start trouble with his captain but didn't appreciate the way he just removed him from the room. He needed to be in there figuring out where Olivia is.

"Elliot, I'm sorry I know you want to be in there right now but you need some time alone," Cragen told him.

"Captain, I don't need time alone. I need to find Olivia. Why don't you understand that? Why don't you seem to care that she's gone?" Elliot asked angrily.

Pointing his finger at Elliot, Cragen, with his voice raised said, "You listen to me! Don't you ever accuse me of not caring about Olivia. I may not be in love with her the way you are but I do love her and you that! So get off your high horse Elliot and stop acting as if you are the only one who cares about her!"

Cragen ended his rant at Elliot and just walked away leaving Elliot standing outside alone with all the horrible thoughts about what was happening to Olivia going through his head. He let out a sigh knowing Cragen was right. He knew he shouldn't have accused Cragen of not caring about Olivia. He knew everyone in that station house cared deeply for her. He also knew that no one loved her like he does.

Elliot walked back into the station and immediately went to Cragen's office to apologize. Both men came out of Cragen's office to hear what Huang had to say.

"What I could gather from the notes and the information you've all gathered on this Hayden Davide, I would say he's going to take Olivia someplace that's important to her. He wants her to suffer greatly. He killed those girls for no reason other than the letter of their first name. He wants her guilt to overwhelm her, and when she's just overwhelmed enough, he will try to kill Elliot to make her suffer the most," Huang explained.

Elliot didn't like what he heard, but he knew it made sense and that Huang was probably right. He couldn't stand the fact that Olivia was already blaming herself for the deaths of those girls, but now she will blame herself if Davide comes after him. He was beginning to feel as though Jenna was going to haunt Olivia for the rest of her life no matter what she does.

"I know where he took her," Elliot exclaimed. "Let's go!"

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Now that Olivia was finally able to see where she was, she looked around trying to figure out a way to possibly escape before Elliot showed up. She knew it wouldn't take him long to figure out where they are. She also knew he would do whatever he had to, to save her even it if meant sacrificing is own life. She could not and would not allow him to do that.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia said to her captor. "Please don't involve Elliot in this. This has nothing to do with him. I shot your daughter not him."

Laughing slightly, Hayden said "Wow, you just solidified my reasoning for killing Elliot right in front of you. Listening to you practically beg for his life just proves how much he really means to you Olivia. Thank you."

Olivia was pissed at herself. She did give away her feelings for Elliot. She made it obvious that she cares for him. She struggled with the ties that bound her hands behind her. She was becoming extremely upset at the thought of Elliot being hurt. She knew this guy had nothing to lose. He killed five girls already, killing Elliot would be nothing to him at this point. She needed out of there or needed to talk him down before that happened.

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Elliot, Munch, Fin and Cragen arrived at the safe house where Olivia and Elliot had been staying. The SWAT team arrived shortly after and surrounded the house. Elliot was less than thrilled when Cragen informed him they were waiting for a hostage negotiator. He just wanted to storm the house and save Olivia, he didn't much care about anything else.

When more members of the SWAT team arrived as well as the hostage negotiator, Elliot took the confusing moment to sneak around the back of the house. As he peered into the back window, he could see Olivia tied up and Davide walking around her in circles waving his gun. He knew in his head he should follow procedure, he should wait for the SWAT team, the hostage negotiator, the okay from his Captain but he couldn't. He knew what he was supposed to do in this situation, but he also knew this wasn't a normal situation. This was Olivia. All bets were off when it came to her.

He saw Davide go into one of the bedrooms. He took that opportunity to make his way into the house running over to Olivia.

"Liv, are you okay?" Elliot asked cupping her face in his hands.

"Elliot what the hell are you doing? Get out of here right now!" Olivia whispered.

"Elliot I said get out of here before Davide comes back!"

"You know Liv, I'm starting to think you're not happy to see me," Elliot said sarcastically as he began to untie her hands.

Before either of them could say anything else to each other Davide came up from behind and clocked Elliot over the head with his gun. Olivia cried out when she saw Elliot hit the floor.

Outside the house; Cragen, Munch and Fin realized Elliot was missing and all came to the conclusion he had gone into the house. Since about thirty minutes had passed since anyone had seen him, they knew he did not succeed in getting Olivia out of the house and most likely became a hostage himself.

As Elliot slowly began to open his eyes, he realized he too was tied to a chair. He was facing Olivia who had a panic-stricken look on her face. He looked around but didn't see Davide. He asked Olivia where he was. She explained to Elliot that after he knocked him out and tied him up, he said he needed to think and went into the bedroom. Elliot let Olivia know that everyone was outside just waiting for the right moment to come in. Olivia informed Elliot the phone had rang many times but Davide didn't answer.

"That would be the hostage negotiator they brought in," Elliot said.

"Yeah, I figured," Olivia replied.

"Why didn't he pick up?" Elliot questioned.

"I have no idea. I told him who it was but he said he didn't want anything from them. He had everything he needed in here. All he wanted was me and you and thanks to you playing hero he now has both of us," Olivia said in a pissed off tone.

"Liv, you're pissed at me because I wanted to rescue you?" Elliot asked confused by her attitude

"Yes, Elliot! Dammit you knew he wanted to kill you, why would you come here?" She asked tears now forming in both eyes.

"Olivia, Jesus please don't cry. How could you think I wouldn't come for you? I love you," Elliot said a little calmer now.

"I know you do, Elliot. I love you too, but Jesus he wants to kill you. I can't let anything happen to you because of me. You don't…you don't understand…you don't get it…," Olivia began before she was cut off by Elliot.

"Liv, shhhh it's okay. We're gonna find a way out of this. No one is getting killed, I promise you," Elliot said trying to reassure her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Elliot," she said flatly.

"Liv….Liv look at me. What is this? You sound like you're giving up. This isn't you. Don't give up on me now baby, please," Elliot begged.

"Isn't that sweet?" Davide asked sarcastically as he re-entered the room. "He really seems to love you Olivia," he said to her as he ran his hand down her cheek.

"Don't fuckin touch her again!" Elliot yelled. "I swear to God, you hurt her and I will kill you where you stand!"

"Oh a tough guy. Look man, you're not exactly in a position to be making threats against me given your current situation, you know being tied up and all," Davide said in a snarky tone.

Finding himself getting more and more angry Elliot struggled to free himself from the chair, to no avail. He knew he was angering Davide and that might backfire, especially if he takes it out on Olivia. He wondered what the hell was taking everyone so long to come in and shoot this guy.

"Well we should probably get this party started since we have company outside. You two know how this is gonna go right? I mean you did get my note," Davide said.

"NO!" Olivia shouted. "Do not hurt him!"

"Liv, stop it," Elliot yelled back.

"Both of you shut the hell up. Elliot dies and Olivia watches. It's simple. What I can't decide is if I might want to torture Elliot a bit first by having my way with the woman he is so obviously in love with."

Feeling his entire body tighten at Davide's words, Elliot reiterated what he had said earlier.

"Davide, I swear to Christ if you fuckin lay one hand on her I will kill you!" Elliot screamed.

**A/N: How far will Elliot go to make sure Olivia isn't hurt? Where is the cavalry and how did Hayden Davide know where Elliot and Olivia were…big twist next chapter!**

**Review here or on twitter! Qgirl25**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

"You'll kill me?" Davide sarcastically asked Elliot. "That's rich considering you're the one tied up and I have the gun, but good luck with that.

"I'm not kidding, you touch her and I will kill you," Elliot said stoically.

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say Stabler. You're starting to bore me, so how bout you shut up and let me think now," Davide said.

Olivia looked at Elliot begging him with her eyes not to anger Davide more than he already was. Elliot knew that it would kill him to watch Davide even touch Olivia let alone God forbid rape her. He knew he needed to get them out of there before there was even a chance that could play out. He wondered why Cragen hadn't figured out where they were yet.

Olivia's breathing was becoming labored; she tried not letting Elliot see this. She was having a panic attack. The thought of Davide killing Elliot in front of her made her want to vomit. She felt as if she had already caused so much pain and been through her own share that there was no way she could live through watching Elliot be killed in front of her, because of her. She started to wonder if perhaps she could reason with Davide and get them both out of this.

Davide walked over to Olivia and gently ran the knife down her clavicle. He then leaned in close to her. She could feel his breath on her neck and wanted to vomit. He began to run kisses down Olivia's neck as she tried with everything she had to pull away.

Elliot's fists curled up as his hands turned beat red. He could feel the heat coming from them. If he wasn't tied to this chair right now, he knew he would kill Davide without hesitation. He had feverishly been working on loosening the rope for hours and felt like he was making some progress, but not fast enough.

"Get your fuckin hands off her right now!" Elliot screamed.

Davide immediately turned around not amused by Elliot's words. Elliot just wanted the man's focus off of Olivia and onto him. He knew if he pissed him off enough he might come after him and leave Olivia alone.

"Why don't you come at someone your own size Davide," Elliot questioned.

"Oh what you don't think your girlfriend can handle herself? I mean come on Stabler, she shot my 18-year old daughter, I think she can handle just about anything," Davide said walking back over to Olivia.

"I didn't mean to kill her!" Olivia screamed. "If you would just let me explain what happened that day, maybe you could try to understand."

"Understand? You want me to understand that you shot and killed my daughter? Wow, this should be good, go for it Olivia," Davide said to her.

Elliot was relieved that Davide's attention was now on listening to Olivia's story rather than touching her. He needed her to keep him talking long enough to untie the ropes and make some kind of move on their captor.

Olivia began to explain to Davide how much she truly cared for his daughter, Jenna, and how she never meant for her to get hurt. She told him how she came into the stationhouse waving a gun around, shot a nun and opened fire in a cell with three people in it. Davide interrupted Olivia stating that those three men in the cell were responsible for the rape and killing of Jenna's mother. Olivia knew this and understood. She cared deeply for Annette and Jenna. She had been there with them right from the start. She wanted Davide to understand she only did what she was trained to do. She didn't want to shoot Jenna, and she most definitely didn't want to kill her. She was doing her job. She had to think of the safety of everyone in the room. Jenna was a threat. She practically begged Davide to forgive her, knowing that she would never truly forgive herself.

Elliot listened as Olivia relived the entire ordeal again. He heard the hitch in her voice and saw the beginning of the tears in her eyes. He hated that she felt she needed to explain her actions to this man who was holding them captive. He also knew it might be their only chance to get out of this situation. Elliot just needed her to keep talking a bit longer, as he had almost completely loosened the ropes.

Olivia began to beg for forgiveness from Jenna's father. He just laughed at her, which broke Elliot's heart. She has tried so hard to put that day behind her and move on and now this bastard was not only making her relive the entire thing but mocking her at the same time.

Elliot was finally free. He gave Olivia a look to let her know his hands were free and to keep Davide facing her. She understood the eye contact and knew what she had to do. She began to cry, or at least pretended to, to keep Davide from turning around and looking at Elliot.

Elliot slipped the ropes off his hands letting them fall to the floor. He rubbed his wrists as they were red and burned. He stood up and gave Olivia a sign. She kicked him as hard as she could in the balls while Elliot jumped him from behind. The gun went flying across the floor as Elliot and Davide continued to fight. Olivia felt helpless, as she was still tied to the chair. Elliot was finally able to get one good shot in that knocked Davide out. He immediately went to work on the ropes that bonded Olivia. In their panic to get her untied, neither noticed that Davide had come to and grabbed the gun from the floor. As Elliot and Olivia stood up, planning their escape, they turned around to find a gun trained on them and a very pissed off Davide at the other end of the gun.

"Shit!" Elliot yelled. He was angry that he didn't go for the gun before untying Olivia. He thought Davide would be out longer.

Just as Davide was about to have them tie each other up again, Cragen, Munch and Fin came busting through the door. Elliot got in front of Olivia as everyone had their weapons drawn. Davide quickly grabbed Olivia and stood behind her using her as a shield. Elliot stood their helplessly, feeling as if he had again let her down.

Olivia looked over at Elliot and watched as he mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," to her.

She smiled at him, as if to say it was okay and not his fault.

Cragen demanded that Davide lower his gun and let Olivia go. His response was a hearty laugh. Davide knew there was no way out of this. He had three guns on him right now and was holding a detective at gunpoint. The question wasn't whether or not he was going to die; it was whether or not he'd be taking Olivia with him.

"You all need to back the fuck off or I swear I will kill her!" Davide screamed.

Elliot immediately panicked as he could see Davide devolving from his earlier behavior. He knew the man had nothing to lose at this point, and he also knew they were the most dangerous men. He had no way of letting Cragen know this. He needed Cragen to back off a little and let him or Olivia try to talk to him down.

Elliot was able to give Cragen a look that said stand down for the time being, he just hoped he understood. Elliot decided he would have a go at Davide. He decided to turn the conversation away from Jenna if possible.

"Hey Davide, I got a question for you," Elliot said trying to goad him.

"I have my ways, Stabler," Davide responded.

"Yeah? Well I'm interested in your ways since you decided to break in here and color the walls while Detective Benson and I were asleep," Elliot spat back.

"Asleep? Is that what you call it? You two were going at it like fuckin rabbits who are you kidding?" Davide said laughing.

"And you got your rocks off watching us?" Elliot said slightly embarrassed that he was discussing having sex with Olivia in front of Munch, Cragen and Fin.

"Well I needed to leave you a message and it was kinda hard not to hear you two!" Davide said not missing an opportunity to embarrass the two in front of their coworkers.

"Okay enough!" yelled Elliot. "I wanna know how you knew where we were," Elliot demanded.

"Let's just say this Detective Stabler, you don't need to look further than this room to find out who the snitch is," Davide said setting off looks between all the coworkers and a gasp from Olivia.

"You're trying to tell me that someone in this room told you where to find Olivia and I? You are a lying piece of shit Davide and I will see you in jail, now let Olivia go or I swear to God I am going to kill you!" Elliot yelled.

"It's hard feeling betrayed isn't it Elliot? That's kinda how I felt when I heard that your precious Olivia who had supposedly cared about my Jenna had shot her dead. I imagine Jenna felt the exact same way," Davide said desperately trying to get a reaction from Elliot which he got.

Elliot started to lunged for Davide but was abruptly stopped when Davide took the safety off the gun and shoved in it Olivia's side. Elliot put his hands up in surrender, not wanting to do anything to get Olivia hurt.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry," Elliot said backing off.

"You try anything like that again Stabler and she's dead," Davide stated stoically.

Elliot saw nothing changing in this situation, Davide was not going to back off or let Olivia go. There was no talking the guy down he was intent on making he and Olivia pay for Jenna, even though nothing that happened that day was their fault.

Olivia began to attempt to plead with Davide. She told him that Elliot had nothing to do with what had happened to Jenna and to please let him and the others go and she would stay with him. This earned her a most disapproving look from Elliot. He knew there was no way he was walking out of there without Olivia, and she knew Elliot would never leave her in there with Davide but she had to try. She sick at the thought of Elliot being hurt for something she had done.

"You need to listen to me Hayden," Olivia pleaded. "What happened with Jenna was an accident and I did care deeply for her. You have to believe that."

"It does suck to be betrayed as you will soon find out, Olivia," Davide quipped back.

"You keep indicating that, what are you trying to say? For Christ sake just fuckin say it. I'm sick of this. You're holding a damn gun on me, threatening to shoot the man I love and myself let's just be done with this already. Say what you've been dying to say if you have the balls!" Olivia yelled.

"You bitch! You wanna know the truth? Okay you got it…"

Suddenly, a shot rang out as Davide and Olivia fell to the floor. Elliot rushed over to her and rolled her over. She had blood on her. She quickly assured him the blood was not hers and she was not hit. He checked Davide's pulse and got nothing. He yelled for Cragen to call a bus. He helped Olivia stand up, neither of them sure at that point where the shot came from. They looked around and realized that Fin had taken the shot.

Elliot immediately ran over to him punched him square in the face. "You idiot! You could have killed Olivia! What the hell were you thinking?" Elliot questioned in a frenzied tone.

"El, he was getting crazy he was gonna take her out at any minute," Fin replied.

"Bullshit! Olivia was talking to him; he didn't make any sudden moves you didn't need to take that shot!" Elliot replied.

All of a sudden Elliot heard Olivia walk up behind him and she gasped. He turned around to look at her. She had Davide's blood all over her and her hand was covering her mouth. At first he wasn't sure if maybe she had been hit and just didn't notice right away, but as he looked in her eyes he began to realize what she had already realized.

Olivia immediately went for Fin just as he had gotten up off the floor recovering from Elliot's punch to the face. Elliot held her flush against himself stopping her from going after Fin.

"You bastard!" Olivia yelled at Fin. "How could you do this to me? To Elliot?"

"Umm call me the slow one in the group but what the hell is going on here?" Munch asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Olivia asked Munch. "Fin is the one who gave the information to Davide about where Elliot and I were hiding."

"That's ridiculous. Fin would never do that," Munch said defending his friend.

"Really?" asked Olivia. "Why don't you look him in the eyes and asked him Munch."

"Fin?" Munch questioned.

"It's not what it seems you guys, I swear. I didn't know the guy was this unhinged." Fin replied.

Now it was Elliot's turn to get angry and he lunged for him only to be stopped as Cragen got in front of Fin.

"Look I have no idea what the hell is going on here but someone better start talking and Fin I suggest that someone is you," Cragen said.

Fin began to explain that Davide had approached him a few months before Olivia had come back. He explained that he just wanted to talk to her about what had happened that day and what Jenna's state of mind was.

Olivia interrupted saying, "That's all fine and dandy Fin, but when we realized who the murderer of five girls was and that he was coming after Elliot and I, you still told him where to find us. Explain that to me!"

"You screwed me over Liv! You and I kept in touch the entire time you were gone. You never called Elliot or anyone else, but you called me and we got close, then you come back Elliot forgives you and it's like nothing ever happened between us!" Fin screamed at her.

"Fin! Nothing ever did happen between us. You were my friend when I needed one, and I appreciated that more than you will ever know, but I never denied to you that I was in love with Elliot and you know it. I don't know what you think was going on between us, but it wasn't real. You were my friend, never anything more," Olivia tried to explain to him.

"I was your friend?" Fin questioned.

"Yeah Fin you were my friend. You knew this guy was after me and Elliot and you led him right to us. I can't forget that let alone forgive it," Olivia said as she walked out of the house.

"You bastard!" Elliot spat in face as he followed Olivia out of the house.

Elliot caught up to Olivia outside the house. He walked up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist burying his head in her neck.

"You okay?" He asked.

"No, but I will be," Olivia said her voice shaking. "How could Fin betray us like that?"

"It's pretty obvious he thought there was more going on with you two than there was. Can't say I wasn't a little surprised to hear you had been in touch with him the entire time you were gone," Elliot said.

"El, I'm sorry…I needed…"

"Liv, it's okay, I don't care. You're safe, we're safe I love you and nothing else really matters," Elliot said.

Olivia turned around to face Elliot. She looked into his eyes an right then and there she knew she would be okay, they would be okay and that somehow, someway there was life after Jenna.

**A/N: It's over! Thanks for reading guys! Still working on my other 4503459 stories! LOL**


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